such a long time since i last updated... sry bout tat...

so many events happened since i last blogged. i'm 21 now... stan came to assist me at work for bout 2 mths... thx stan...

got to meet and catch up with my sec sch frens...

frens leaving me one by one at work...

finally got my own laptop...

under tremendous stress in all aspect of my life...

bad skin days are back again...

in the past 2 wks... was given 2 more accounts to learn in less than 2 wks and was asked to take up 1 more big and troublesome account and master it within 3 days at work... was asked to learn it first, handle the acc temp for 1 mth before passing to my colleague... if i dun master it within tat 3 days, might teach the wrong thing... and no other person in the whole office know how tat acc operates...

at hm, was being told off for being very attitude... wtf... u r the one who asked me to use my headphones instead of the speakers... u think i everyday also listen to songs at vol 1? i only slightly louder then cannot hear anyone calling me liao.. we nv tok much? it's u who dun wanna listen to me... i'm under so much stress do u even know? i'm always there to listen... ust dun tok to me when i'm using the com... when i'm watching tv, u can go ahead and tok to me... no prob... i using com means i not free liao... wan me to waste my com's lifespan to listen to u? let me off it first la... my back is facing the whole house and with my headphones plugged on, do u think i'll know where everyone is in the house? why dun u go ard the house and see on ur own instead of asking me? isn't it faster? why are there things tat u can do tat i cannot? when u watch videos on the com, u can also use earphone one wat... why am i always tat one tat got commanded by u not to use my speaker? speakers are meant to be used instead of being there for the sake of being there...

had a very bad dream last night... but did u bother to ask? at least i would sometimes ask u how's ur day at work... but did u even bother to ask bout mine... i got so many grievances but did u even bother listening... at least when i told da jie, she did not just condemn wat i said... all i wish for is tat u could sometimes listen to me even thou i might be repeating things... but if u can't do tat simple thing, how can u expect me to do the same to u? u once said tat we did not put ourselves in ur shoes... but did u ever put urself in my shoes before? being the most stupid and fat one in the family had caused me to be under so much stress since young... had u ever put urself in my shoes before? do u know how it feels to be always compared to u and da jie and even being compared to boy and only to get put down and looked down by others? u already know tat i dun have a lot of frens who i am closed enough to tell them all my troubles... i need a lot of support from this family... but who can i tok to who could give me advices? at least she bothers to listen to me...

i'm really need to de-stress now... sry ppl reading this, but i'm really in a foul mood these few weeks...

first, so many ppl leaving... after fiona then sihui... next one i'm not going to be so kpo already... why seek for trouble to organise a gathering for all of them when it doesn't even go according to my plan? why should i even bother to plan? when i asked for opinion, no one else wanna raise out their idea... and last min then wanna change... do u have any idea how much stress i am under at tat point in time? i have to consider so many things... got a pregnant woman and ppl who are not very into bbq steamboat with me... i'm already so pai sei to have to make silia come outram find us liao le... u all still last min change venue to marina south... and didn't even send the car here to fetch her... it's very troublesome for her lor even thou she say it's ok de... next time u all just decide on ur own then let me know la... wanna go steamboat also dun wanna tell in advance... if u all told me tat even at six, i wun be so bloody pissed off lor... if i'm on my own, i also wun be so pissed la.. but the prob is i have so many ppl here with me... at least wat u all could do is, the one who wanna go marina should not only call and say u all going marina and tat's all... u all could think of getting dennis to come outram and drive silia there, and not take his car and go there on ur own without thinking how the FIVE of us is going to squeeze into ONE cab tat fits only FOUR or even squeeze into the mrt to go there and have to change to bus!!!

another thing is, next time if i ever organise to get present for ppl, DO NOT come and tell me tat ppl are asking u wat i got for tat person... if he/she wanna know, ask them to come to me personally... i will tell them!!! such minor things can dun do tat ma? ask tat person to come to me la... bu shuang then wat? wan me to go ard to everyone who share de place and tell them one by one? hello~~!!! i got so many things to do lor... think i really so free ar? and u know tat i just took over 3 accs and had so little time to learn it all... i really got no time to do tat la.. if it is in early june then i can do tat la... but not now lor...

also, i already mentioned in my email, if u know of anyone who wanna share the present, let me know cos i dunno who else to put le...

bloody hell~~!!!

dreamt tat the 2 of them are together, and only after they are together for 3 mths le then let me found out... now even told me on their own lor... but is i saw them together on the street then know one... was so deeply sadden by tat dream until i woke up... reason being i treat both of them as my frens and not just acquaintances... but they do not trust me to even tell me on their own... muz let me found it out on my own... another one might be i still have a bit of crush on him... which ever it might be also saddens me so...

argh~~!! sucks... just hope no one else will come and be so bo liao to bother me with stupid issues...

damn damn damn damn damn... still very bu shuang even after crying it out~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need to de-stress~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn~!