just feel tat i'm suddenly very very tired... just so tired of my jealousy...

super confused feelings now... i dunno if i've really got over cf... at times, i just had the feeling tat maybe the breakup was the best for us...

the following tat i'm bout to say might change ur opinion of me... but it's really wat i think now tat it's over... the thing is i think me and cf got together in the first place is tat we both wanted to experience how it is like to be in love... but i dunno if we really like each other... in my case, now tat i think back, i'm as if in a relationship with him only for the sake of being in love with love itself and not with the person...

however, if tat is so, y did it still hurt so much to see and hear bout his news... i dunno... i really dunno...

damn... argh... y am i so easily shedding my tears again...

just saw his prom pics... he had taken with quite a few gers and all like so... i dunno wat to say... argh... just when the hell will i be able to face this with a calm heart... do i still have some part of me with him... or is it just my ego tat's acting... the part of me tat doesn't wish tat he got attached before me or the part tat wished tat he wud return for me... i dunno... i really dunno...

argh... stupid dumb ass of relationship... argh argh argh argh!!!!! bloody hell... hate this kind of feelings... when will i be able to get rid of it... i really admire those ppl who can move on with their life fast...

sometimes i wonder if he had really got over it... is there any part of me tat he might still be missing, thinking of me at times... but i dun think so... or maybe tat he wanna let me have the time to forget him? i dun think tat's quite possible de lor... how could anyone forget the person he or she had spent some memories with de... if really there's a memory eraser, i wanna erase off this memory... though there's a lot of sweet times, silly times... but at times, it's just too painful for me to bear...

though i sometimes wish tat i had another shoulder to rely on... but i dun think i'll just go into a relationship tat fast... dun think i'll be able to stand another blow le... it's too painful... really very painful...

argh... vent out my feelings le now much better... ppl who read this entry, pls keep it to urself... i dun wanna let him know how i'm feeling bout this... thx...

go sleep le...

ciaoz...