first day of the funeral... not alot of ppl there today... only my uncles and aunties and cousins there... alot of customs to follow...

not feeling too sad today... only nearly cry 3 times today... 1st was when i told ty bout this on the train this morning... 2nd was when i told hf and the 3rd time was when i'm chatting with my er jie on the way frm je to wdl...

was supposed to go over right after sch de... but they doing tqm presentation... so stayed behind to do with them... msged er jie to see if she wanna meet then she called back saying she's at boon lay le... then meeting me at je... so i passed my work to lp they all and left...

the funeral is not under my grandma hse tat block... but was at the next block... cos her block got too little space on the ground floor to carry out the funeral...

was made to changed into a white t-shirt provided by the casket... then when me and my er jie went down, had to pin a piece of cloth on the left sleeve... have to pray to my grandpa first then started to help them fold the incense paper into ingots... helped to burn incense paper also... have to keep it burning... think it represents smooth journey to the underworld ba... not too sure also... then cannot ask on the spot...

first time saw my grandma since sat... she looks ok la... but got teary eyes when the distant relatives ask about my grandpa... the only ppl who cried until very jialat is my grandpa's siblings...

had to look after my cousins also... so many young kids there... then one of them kept clinging onto me... kept asking me to carry him... bring them to the playground he only wan me to carry him and dun wanna play... end up my hands until now still trembling...

super tired le... dunno wat i toking le... think i need sleep badly... tml still muz go and help...

ciaoz...