sometimes i wonder if one is born to be a loner... well... tat seems to be the case for me... is my ren yuan really tat bad? hmmm... just dunno... sometimes i feel like i'm very left out... i'm i being pai chi? or i'm i really tat bad a person tat i dun have a single soul mate, someone who understands me very well?

maybe cos i'm never popular... never was there once when we were to do project tat ppl will wan me in their grp de... i think there's a big flaw in my character ba... no one is willing to really befriend me and do things with me... there was never once when i'm the centre of attention and the leader... i was ALWAYS the FOLLOWER... just hate tat lor...

i think even if i'm gone one of these days also not many ppl will notice ba...

sometimes i just dunno why ppl can change so fast... or maybe cos i'm the one resisting changes ba... i'd always drift away from my frens de... it's a ALWAYS... the most i give it is one yr... one yr after beginning of being in diff class, all my frens wud drift away frm me... even when we met up with each other, i'd nv have the chance to speak up... like in the case of my sec sch gatherings... it'd nv be me who have the chance to speak... and whenever i rarely got this chance, i'd always be interupted by someone de... it's ALWAYS like tat... and i bloody well absolutely HATE to be interupted... when i'm interupted, i'd rather keep quiet and do the listening... how can anybody hear a songle thing if everyone is toking at the same time? so sacrifice and keep quiet lor... bo bian wat... some ppl is just so inconsiderate de lor... nv wait for ppl to finish then interupt...

i think i dun have a lot of frens... those who i count as frens now i dun think will be so after this year lor... they'd as usual move to the mere acquaintance category le...

there are really many ppl who'd come in and out of ur life... these ppl are just mere acquaintances... they are not frens... frens are ppl whom without telling them, would notice tat u are not happy, notice tat u are not present during lesson and would offer to lend u their notes for the lesson tat u miss without u asking for it...

i know i'm single now... but tat does not mean tat u cannot tok to me about the ups and downs of ur relationship... it's true tat i dunno how to give gd advices... but i'd always be there to lend u my ears and even my shoulders de lor...

i know i live in a very happy family and have not been through wat u ppl in problem family experience... but still, if u need someone to grumble ur grouses to, i'd always be there de lor... even though i really cannot give advices on this area... a frenship doesn't work one way... it takes two to clap.... i dun wan a frenship where there's only me complaining to the other party... i want a frenship whereby the other party also complains to me... but... i'm i not trustworthy? maybe some of u might say so ba... but i dun think i'm so... if u label things as secret, i can swear across my heart tat no one else will ever hear about it unless u tell them... like tat time when i went abroad with the 3 guys... wat they made me promise not to tell, i really nv say a single thing out... until the ger ask me if it's true... cos one of u already spill the beans le...

although i admit, i'm not someone who can keep alot of things to myself... tat i always tok to someone to let out all my grouches, but usually those are things tat happened to me, and not wat other ppl told me...

all i ask for is to be treated as a fren... not just mere acquaintance... is tat alot to ask for? is it? really very tired of all these le... why muz ppl have feelings? why can't ppl just be heartless and just go on with their life without the emotional baggage attached... i'm just getting tired... really tired of this... should i just seal myself off from all these feelings? these feelings of being the extra big bulky spare tyre tat is being kicked ard? maybe i wun feel this sad and disappointed if i just seal myself off frm this world... i doubt anyone wud even care if i do so... i was nv impt anyway...

really hate this frenship prob... it's changing me frm being optimistic to being pessimistic which is very bad...

just hope this rough patch of life would end soon...

anyway, thx for reading my grouches... really appreciated it tat u took time off to even bother to read my blog... i'm now much better after saying things out le... and i wanna thx alvin and jq for showing ur concerns for me today... really makes me feel much better... and also to those who did not pretend tat i dun exist today... ur aknowledgement of my existence makes it worthwhile...

just hoping tat i wun appear puff eyed tml...

ciaoz...

itp finally end le... sch's starting....

kinda miss my collegues at misc... hahahaha... anyway, muz update again....

wed...
nothing much... work as usual...

thurs...
pei hf and lp order their things during lunchtime... they both intend to give kuah lapis and egg tarts to the collegues at misc during the last day...

was rather pissed off by this action of their's... just dun understand lor... usually if got a few ppl attached to a coy for intern they'd usually share to buy things for the collegues... but the thing is the 2 of them insisted on buying on their own... i know they really helped us alot during the period of attachment... but the thing is u are not earning alot frm them and if u wanna treat them on ur own, wat about those who wanna treat yet dun have tat much money to treat on their own? and if all four of us treat them individually, how wud they ppl in the coy be able to finish it all? pls la... spare a tot for them lor... tat time 2 ppl treat at a time already so many of them complain le lor... imagine this time is the four of us treat together... who wud be able to finish... and it's after lunch also lor... i mean pls la... lunch already made ppl so bloody full le lor... go back office still have to eat wat u give them... u think they pig ar?

okay okay... vented enough le... time to carry on... since they both wanna treat on their own, so nvm lor... in the end i share with shimei... a choc cake... and we decided to give them before lunch... so tat they'd have no excuse but to take...

fri...
gave them the cake the first thing in the morning... gave shimei's dept followed by mine... cos these two are top piorities... shirlin they all at first wanna reject de... but i force them to take... muahahaha...

tok to my supervisor while we were still giving out the cake... then see his mood so happy faster gave him my log bk... hehehe... in the end, i think he first time mark ppl log bk lor... still ask me if he need to give kevin ma... so funny lor... then in the end, susie pass by... then she so de siao one lor... cos i only give him all at once ma... the hf is those tat gave her supervisor every week de... so susie told him tat we are supposed to give our suspervisor our log bk every week de... make me so pai sei in front of him lor... cos he ask me how come he nv every week get it...

work was much more than the past few days... non-stop de... hahahaha... occasional breaks were when lp is still waiting for her performa to end, and shimei waiting to use the fax machine... on one of those breaks, lp's dept so sweet de lor... they really dote her like their own kid like tat... will crack jokes to entertain her, tok to her and side her when there's trouble de... then they're the first dept tat gave her things lor... they long planned today le...

just before lunch, lp came and ask me if we wanna join her dept in having lunch... she say they wanna treat us... then ask where we wanna go and eat... in the end, during lunchtime, they still book a mini bus bring us to bukit merah there eat lor... so nice of them... mr kumar, mr sim, mas, jeffery, roz and the receptionist...

my biggest surprise was after lunch... at first still tot tat my dept will not do anything de... but after i came back from lunch, wendy came up to my table and passed a bag to me... then she say tat is something the four of them, wendy, shirlin, emily and crystal share to give me de... so sweet of them lor... i was so touched by them...

then shortly after tat, susie came and gave me something also... was very surprise... then hf say cos susie told her tat everyone deserves something...

work as usual... then hf and lp start to give their things...

near the end of the day then kevin appear... shimei wanted to give him the cake de... but hf dun wanna go yet... she wanted to finish all her work before going... made shimei so pissed off... in the end, kevin called us into his rm... so scary lor... majiam u do something wrong the day u left like tat... hahaha... end up being him wanna tok to us the final time before we go off... then the coy still give us a $50 robinson voucher each... he still took down our contacts... so tat next time if they need part-timers they can contact us... hahaha... hope whenever they need part-timer they'd look for us... then i no need look for job le... hehehe...

anyway, met mabel they all for dinner... thou hf got go, but i went off first... cos need to take laptop frm my sis and hf still wanna do ot for the coy on her last day.... no wonder she can get her A for itp...

anyway, life's always unfair... same supervisor, scared will bias... diff supervisor, diff grading standard... i dun deny tat i'm jealous of her getting an A while i got a B... tat's life... and life really sucks...

anyway, chat alot with them during dinner... but i think mostly is hf toking to alvin la... felt quite bad... cos all three of us are in shipping line and then they kept toking bout the time in shipping line... think mabel felt rather left out lor... so i also nv tok much la... since the 2 of them wanna tok then let them do so lor...

when we're leaving, hf was saying bout something tat ppl of the same blood grp have similar thinking... i think i totally agree with in man... i really starting to not being able to stand blood grp o ppl's way of thinking le lor... hahahaha... wonder how many ppl tat i know has blood grp b... think blood grp b is a grp of rather rare type of blood... cos majority of ppl tat i know has blood grp o... o is the most common of all the ppl i've met lor... now i only know mabel is also same as me, we're blood grp b de...

anyway, if u find it hard to understand this entry dun fret... cos i'm just typying watever tat comes into my mind... so u are really reading my tots as i type this...

anyway, shld go off le... tml sch starting... and now i'm not even sure of wat i'm typing le... hahahaha...

ciaoz...

hahaha... now got stupid show on channel 8... so lame de...

anyway, time to update since i nv managed to come online as often le...

think my memory getting shorter and shorter le... like watever happened today i'll forget it tml le...

ok... back to topic...

sun...
went to meet sid they all at yishun mrt at 1330... cos going to ms chen's hse... hahahaha... so nan de still can be close to my sec 2 form teacher...

saw no one when i reach the mrt station... tot i got the time wrong... end up it's not tat i'm early... but i totally missed sc and sq...

at first we planned to go fish and co have dinner after going her hse de... but in the end they decided to go somewhere less crowded and gurantee got place for a big grp... end up deciding to go villiage at china square central... it's a marche style restaurant... had a fun time playing with her son and toking with all of them... some i see more often, others more nan de come out...

activity ended quite late... was so tired by the time i got hm tat i got the idea of fang lp their ge zi... hahaha...

mon...
super tired day... at first plan to meet lp they all at 1000 de... but everyone so tired tat we shifted the timing to 1130 at harbour front... yup tat's right, we going sentosa to suntan...

woke up later than i wanted... then when i wanna go out le my mum bought lunch for me... so bo bian have to eat... luckily wasn't the latest there... alvin arrived at bout the same time as i did... so went to find them after tat... dilly dally until one plus then reach sentosa...

hahahaha... had a fun time tanning... managed to have quite gd tan... cos wearing my bikini... then really nan de got so free time to sit under the sun and relax....

by five or six plus, we made our way back to mainland... had our dinner at banquet at harbourfront... tok a lot of things...

after tat, mabel gave us a chanel file each... she so sweet lor... still wrote a personalised note for all of us...

well... frm tues until now always the same la... work work work... just tat this week, the workload start to get less le... i got so much free time to slack and do my logbk...

oh ya.. tat reminds me, my main motive switching on the com is to do my logbk de... argh....

ok la... end here le... until sch begins...

ciaoz...

finally... one last week till the end of itp... and it's only a four days week... yeah!!!

hahahaha...
but i'm starting to worry bout my logbk... have'nt written a single thing... die le lar...

long wkend wasted... today slack too much, tml going sec sch gathering, mon going sentosa suntan... no time no time!!! hahahahaaha...

quite excited bout tml and mon... heng my medication will end tml morning... ar bo a lot of things cannot eat...

okay... think some of u blur le... lemme update u for a while...

i fell sick on mon... only slight sore throat on tat day la... then on wed it worsen until i can't swallow anything... in the end, thurs morning woke up to a swollen neck and chin... cos of sore throat and the swelling of my mouth floor... end up toking like i got serious short tongue prob...

so bo bian took off on tat day... went to see my doc... hahahaha... his medicine really work wonder... thou he not too sure wat cos the swelling of my mouth floor... but now, my sore throat is gone, so has all the swellings... hahahahaha... i think cos i've been going to him since young ba... he checked my records tat day... hahahaha... had been going to him since i was 1+ yrs old... i think it's better to see a gp than a specialist doc when u are still a kid... cos most specialist only have med for kids until 12 yr old.... then no point... cos after tat have to change doc and the new doc wun have any reference to ur med history... then might end up prescribing a sensitive med... so i dun think it's gd...

anyway, wannna go watch the cock show le...

ciaoz...

had a super fun day today...

left office at bout 0900 for psa... hahahaha... went to tanjong pagar terminal today... cos the ship docked there... was very leh chey cos still muz go the complex to get a pass before going in... the pass very cute... still need to take pic de... better than air cargo terminal de... if got time, i'll scan it and post it up here for u all to see...

anyway, went circling the place cos we cannot anyhow u-turn... went up the vessel... so bloody high lor... then the steps quite shaky... went to take a look at the bridge... got some intro by the captain and his assistant... surprisingly, his assistant is a rather young man... then something funny happened lor... the assistant was explaining something to us when kevin and kumar said tat while the assistant explained, all the ladies were more interested in looking at him than listening to him... then went to the captain's rm, the captain's dinning area and the kitchen... saw how they lived onboard and how the containers are being loaded and unloaded... super fun...

we also went to the empty container yard... managed to take some pics of the diff containers and even spoilt ones...

after the visit, kevin our manager, treated us to lunch... nice nice cos all spicy de... but poor lp nv get to eat much...

worked as usual after tat... but lp got called into kevin's rm... so stunned sia... tot she got into trouble... but it's all bcos of ignorant ppl frm the accounts dept...

after work went shopping at cwp... cos no one at hm and i nv bring my keys out... waste so much $$ buying junk food... hahahaha... think i really going to grow very fat soon...

back at hm now... wanna go sleep soon... cos working tml...

additional: dun u find tat sometimes listening to a song helps u to relax and even recall some sweet memories? hahaha... just found some really nice songs tat brings back memories... hahahaha... all thx to winson who sits opp me in office... he always tuned in to gold 90fm... hahahaha... so everyday i'm listening to oldies... the song tat u all hear is heaven knows by rick price... it's a song tat i always listen to when i'm in pri 4... hahaha... tat's ages ago le... hearing this song brings me back to the time when me, my er jie and my bro were in his rm, on the aircon and do our hw after sch... such a nice period of time... really love this song... another one is the soundtrack of long vacation... really relaxing... listening to it really felt like u are in the middle of a long vacation...

ok... needa go sleep le...

ciaoz...

yeah!!! hahahaha... i'm so surprised... i actually didn't fail any modules at all!!! wahahahaha...

so bloody happy now... hahahahaha... results are all in my expected range... except for pdwm and tqm of cos...

hahahaha... wanna know my results? (dun wan can dun read de...)

tqm - dist
hrm - b
csb - b
tms - b
pdwm - c
fma - c+

wahahahaha... still so stunned tat i'd even have a dist in my results... at least this time the minimum is a c... not too bad la... considering tat i nv study hard for all exams... so my disappointment is not tat bad... hahahaha... actually there's no disappointment at all la... tok cock only...

gtg... inuyasha starting soon...

ciaoz...

wow... so long nv blog le...

been quite busy these days... really life is filled with work and tuition...

ok... i'm escaping frm reality now... got to check my results... yet i dun wanna do it...

blog finish this entry first... before my results managed to spoil my mood...

these few days quite nice... mon wendy didn't come... so end up emily giving me work... i prefer emily to give me work than shirlin... hehe... cos emily is more friendly...

working is fun when u have a lot of things to do... hahahaha... just like today... whole day do things... then wendy gave me a stack of work to be completed by the end of the day at 1655 when i'm knocking off at 1730... end up doing it super fast... hope got no errors... hahahaha...

anyway, we had a fire drill today... was quite lame la... majiam in pri and sec sch like tat... need to go out of the building and gather at the field beside the building according to the floor we work in... when we are bout to go down, i heard crystal and uncle leong saying something bout getting free gift... according to them, last time when they have fire drill, they were given pen and mineral water after tat... so cute lor... end up this time round, we were given mineral water and a water bottle... hahahaha... so cute de... still got free gift...

excited excited... hahahahaha... tml got company trip to psa, up onboard a misc vessel... and the company invited the four of us to join them... they still say tat we're very lucky cos some staff work there for more than 10 years still nv get the chance to go psa... but we're interns there and get to go with them... hahahahaha...

life is still basically the same... just tat i'm spending more and more days teaching dafinah... nearly everyday now... can't wait for next wed to come... cos it's her last paper on wed... hopefully her parents will give her a break after tat... so tat i get my break also...

anyway, just realised tat ppl near me are all having probs... family probs... death of family members... fights with family members... it's only halfway into the year and so many bad things happened... wat is becoming of this world??

ok... anyway, i've to go check my results le...

fear gripped my heart as the moment i dreaded draws nearer....

escaping reality is definitely not permanent...

sounds chim? tok big only la... hahahahaha... getting crazy le...

next entry will be blogged shortly...

ciaoz...

sianz...

getting super no life... wake up at 0600 daily, travel full 1 hr just to get to work, have lunch at 1300, got off work at 1730, reach hm an hour later... eat dinner... then go for tuition at 1905... tuition ends at 2130... by the time i got hm, it's 2200 le... watch watever i've recorded(usually "good luck") then it's time for bed...

getting more and more tired as time goes by... think i can nv do any 8 hrs job... will get damn tired...

anyway, gtg le... eyes are getting droppy...

ciaoz...

day

okay... i have a confession to make... i'm starting to dislike ppl trying to link me up with others... i.e. spreading untrue rumours... and teasing me bout it... it's slightly getting onto my nerves... pls dun tease me too much le okay? no point toking bout it when nothing is going on... my friendship with ALL my guy frens are purely platonic... dun let ur imaginations run wild and start toking nonsense... i DUN need to be linked to like half the guys in my class now... being in a relationship is currently the last thing on my mind... so pls stop hor... thx ar....

anyway, back to today... today was slacking in the morning... cos wendy got half day off... so she came in late...

know something is wrong cos this morning when we reach, wendy is not there... she's usually the early bird... end up being correct... was reading lp's cocktail book when shirlin came to me and told me tat wendy asked her to give me some work... she added wat she want me to do to wendy's pile of work... since wendy is not there, i started with shirlin's first...

halfway thru work, alvin msged me... hahahaha... so funny... cos he ask if i got a lot of work to do ma... apparently at oocl's transhipment dept, it's more hectic then misc's tanshipment dept... tat is to an intern...

after i finished with the work give, waited for a while before wendy gave me another set of work to do... to update on the containers on vessels... by the time i finished, it's 1730 le... just right time to knock off... before i packed me things, wendy told me a bad news.... tat i have to work on sat as well... sob sob... tot weekend can sleep longer... but now, still have to work... wat a cheap labour...

anyway, slacking at hm after work... cos today no tuition... so happy... 8th lesson coming soon... hahahaha...

anyway, my eyelids are getting heavy le... so i shall stop here...

ciaoz...

well well... days in itp is getting more and more... at least tat's better than nothing to do...

yesterday wendy(a colleague in transhipment) taught me how to use portnet and sealiner... she only show me one example then gave me a stack to do on my own... wat i'm supposed to do was to renominate the vessels for a particular B/L... was quite chim... but managed to grasp it after a few tries...

guess who i met on my way hm yest? i met amelia... and just right at tat station is where lp alights... anyway, went to give dafinah tuition... tuition went quite well... cos she's paying attention...

continued doing the renomination today... until lunchtime... went to the hawker centre opp harbour front... food there is super cheap and nice... until we reach the entrance of the coy then hf realised tat she lost her office access card... so in the end we back tracked and splited up... hf and lp went searching on the way to the HC while me and shi mei search the office...

in the end, we can't find it in the office... while waiting for them to come back, one of the staff came and look for us... she ask if there's a goh somebody with us... then she said tat she found her card at the HC... hf damn heng lor... she lost her MISC access card and just right got picked up by a MISC staff...

after lunch, was asked to update the excel sheets for the diff vessels and voyage... quite tedious cos have to be very careful and the format is quite diff...

beginning to think tat it's hectic working in a shipping line... cos watever u do is strongly against time and little mistakes cld be made... diff cust are also faced by the ppl working there...

did the updating frm 1415 till 1715... then went toilet with lp... hahaha... dilly dally until 1720 since they got nothing else for me to do... went to look for hf and sm when it's time to go... hahaha... nan de i'm the one to do tat cos usually i'm still doing something when they've finished for the day...

think i very dao there... cos the only few ppl i greet in the morning are the uncles sitting beside and in front of me... only cos they greet me first... my only interaction with my supervisor so far is only on the first day... for less than 2 hrs... the rest of the time, i'm sitting quietly at my table doing my work, silience only broken by the kopi auntie asking me wat i wanna drink, the visits to lp, lunchtime, visits to toilet, toking to wendy bout the work she gave me, the visits by hf when she photocopy things. the occasional work frm shirlin, the occasional small talk with the uncle beside me and of cos, after work!! super sianz lor... think i gonna get very bad grades for itp le... die lar...

super tired now... all cos i watch tv until 1200 last night... the super lag of sleep... have to get up at 0615 the latest everyday... i suspect we are the only few tat starts work so early... alvin and jac they all all starts at 0900... worst is tat i have to travel for full one hrs to work everyday, frm the north to south of sg... tat's bout across the country...

hahahaha... kuku liao... desperately need my sleep now...

ciaoz...

phew... the first day at itp finally ended...

hahahaha... was actually quite fun for me la...

reached harbour front mrt station at 0810... surprisingly, lp and hf already reach le...

so went up to the company... we damn lucky la... first day at work then met a misc employee... hahahha... just right we also going up till 11th storey... then she tapped her card for us for both the lift and the door of misc... hahahaha...

was shown into the meeting rm by ms roz... hahahaha... tok cock there while waiting for the boss to come... got our lift and entry passes too...

last person same itp coy as us de is shi mei frm class 11...

was shown the diff supervisors by the boss... then each of us got attached to a diff supervisor and department...

i was attached to the transhipment dept, lp to operations, hf to import and shi mei to export...

had a briefing frm my supervisor while waiting for wendy of transhipment dept to give me some work...

he gave me some materials bout bill of lading to read while waiting... after tat, wendy gave me my first job of the day... to help her check to confirm if the containers are recorded on both portnet system and sealiner, a program tat the coy developed... she also taught me how to use the systems... but i can't use it on my own cos i dun have an account...

work was disrupted halfway... cos the boss wanna bring us to see the big boss...

big boss office so nice... had a very very nice view of the sea... and sentosa too...

after i finished with her things, wendy asked sherlin for work to give me... in the end, sherlin put a big stack of papers for me to check... hahahaha... didn't manage to finish it today... but this is gd... cos it means i got something to do tml...

my dept still quite gd... at least got things to keep me busy... lp slacked the whole day... cos she got no desktop... so cannot contribute... hf and shi mei is more busy than i am... cos they deal with the customers directly and indirectly... then they can only make minimal mistakes... so more stress than me...

overall for today, so tired and drained of energy... but not too bad la... the coy ppl very frendly and the welfare of the staff is very gd... in the morning and mid afternoon there will be a lady pushing a trolley ard asking wat ppl wanna drink... service majiam on planes like tat...

okay la... need to go iron my clothes for tml le... then needa rest le...

ciaoz...

woohoo...

so happy today...

finally managed to get wat i wanted...

a new pair of shoes, new shirts... and a new skirt a few days ago...

hahahaha... quite guilty tat i spent so much...

hahahah... i think most ppl will get a shock if a say the price out... esp for the skirt...

hahaha... well... actually not a lot also la... the 2 shirts frm G2000 cost $59 together, the shoes frm U.R.S. inc costs $49.90 and the skirt frm mango costs $75...

but still... in total spent a LOT!! hahahah... add up is near $200...

but still... so happy cos the shoes is so nice... so are the shirts and skirt...

hehehehe...

well... gtg...

tired shopper...

ciaoz...

just read a email tat lp sent...

found something i dun really agree with...

bcos i love you, tat's why i let go of ur hand and return freedom to you...
bcos i love you, tat's why i will no longer let u feel troubled...
bcos i love you, tat's why i'd rather be sad alone...
bcos i love you, tat's why i'll force myself to leave...

i think tat's the dumbest things to do if bcos of this mentality then u break up with the other party... wat if the other party still loves u? just tat u nv notice... not only will u be hurt... but u will hurt the one who loves u even more deeply...

it hurts to love and not be loved in return... but it hurts more to not let ur feelings be known...

love is really a strange kind of feeling... but i think the most important thing is to let ur feelings be known... who knows tat if u really did, the two of u will become an item? dun live in regret tat u did not tell the other person how u feel...

true tat there's the fear of being rejected... but who knows... maybe the other person also feel the same way as u do...

hahaha... i think the best way to save ur pride and lessen the effect of being rejected is to send a "scout"... hahahaha... just someone who'd help u know how the other party feel bout u ba... to tell the truth, this is a rather useful way... esp if u r trying to find out the feeling of a ger... cos most gers wud tell each other how they feel if asked by someone they're close to...

ok... enough of this stupid issue bout love... hahahaha... getting mental again...

ciaoz...

well well...

my exams are finally over!!!

wahahahaha...

finally more free...

but...

got to give tuition to a p1 ger...

aiyo...

such a headache...

her exams are starting soon and she know nuts about wat she is studying...

how did she do her exams? well... she just put 1,2,3,4,5 for her answers... for MCQ somemore...

pengz~~

argh... got to teach her tml also...

sianz...

think i'll need to find a way to fa xie soon...

and finally notice one thing...

dun be a english teacher, esp if u are to teach lower pri... unless ur eng is super zai and can make them understand...

if i ever becomes a teacher, i'd definitely teach maths or chinese or even science... NEVER AGAIN ENGLISH!!!

ciaoz...

had the weirdest dream last night...

dreamt tat i got married... and to someone impossible to happen in real life...

hahahaha...

dunno y got this kinda dream also...

wasn't thinking bout anything like tat...

hmmm...

dreams are strange...

hahahahaha...

the dream happened on my wedding day... then was having wedding dinner... though was the "main character" there, but i was not sitting with family members... instead was sitting with my frens... hahahaha... receiving their well-wishes with my partner... surprisingly, those in my dream includes frens frm poly dayz, sec sch dayz and even pri sch dayz!! hahahaha...

then the scene suddenly change to a rm with a whole mirror wall... then i was touching up... hahahaha... remembered "scolding" the makeup artist cos she put my blusher until it's very red and uneven...

just then, got woken up by mr ryan lim...

weird dream isn't it...

hahahahaha....

ciaoz...

yes!! wahahahaha....

a success!!

finally got music up on my blog!!!

yeah!!!

hahahahahaha...

anyway, the title of the music u hear now is "The Name of Life"

hahaha... those of u who like to watch Hayao Miyazaki's work, u might find it familiar...

yup!! it's frm the anime movie "Spirited Away"!! hahahahaha...

enjoy~~

ciaoz...

basket... just put a song in for my blog... then the stupid browser dun wanna play it... grrrr.... dunno wth is wrong with it... damn...

argh argh argh!!! nvm... give up... gonna go study le...

will blog after 12 april...

wishing alvin belated bday, jq and hf early bday!!

ciaoz...

was busy with studies for the past few days... hahahaha... first time i so hardworking leh~~

well... shall blog frm tues till today...

tues...
met ty, hf, jac, mabel, lp and ly at 1030 for our csb roleplay... so dumb lor... we studying biz, in the end, we got a manufacturing situation... how we know all the machine parts wor~~ in the end, we prepare for a while, rehearse once and went to fc 1 to have lunch... hahahaha... yup... all the way frm one end of sp to the other end...

saw jianlong at fc 1... then saw a lot of spac2go juniors there also... hahahha... tat's for sure... cos most of them frm cls de...

had lunch then walk all the way back to biz block again... crazy rite? hahahha... but got too much time to spare le... in the end, we were still early for the roleplay... but tat's partly bcos ms tan is late... so the first grp started late also... but i think our grp's meeting roleplay is rather short... cos we finished in 20 min or maybe less than tat...

after the roleplay, hf, lp and me went up to the hrm tutorial rm... just rite the rm somehow nv lock... so went in to enjoy the aircon...

hrm tutorial is fun... after our grp completed the ans, i went to tok with hf they all... tat day so funny... hahahahha... someone brought a powerpuff gers' pencil case to sch... wahahahaha.... i think those in class knows who's tat... shall not name tat person here... the most funny thing is tat most ppl nv notice it... until the lecturer announce it out loud...

after tat, since she dun wanna go thru the answers yet, some of the begin to play pepsi cola at the back of the rm... hahahaha... damn funny... she still give them time to play...

after tat, time to present the ans... the first grp went up full force... then my grp also say wanna go up full force... but they very bad lor... in the end, only me and jl went up... then kana said by the lecturer and the whole class...

after tat was pdwm lecture... super short lect... cos after he go thru the syllabus and we know which is not tested, we made him stop... since the topic he's going to teach is not in the exam... hahahaha... got back our pdwm ca2 results... hahahaha... all i can say is tat i have to put in extra effort for this module...

reach hm played with ryan for a while before i take my nap... hahaha... after dinner, started doing my fma tutorial... finally figure out 1 of the question tat i cannot do last week... feel so gd to get the things rite... hahahaha...

wed...
was late for fma lect... spent most of the time copying the ans to the past year paper while toking to hf...

went to have lunch at pizza hut since hrm was released an hour earlier... hahaha... rare to have a class outing... called antony... but he not in his rm... after tat, he called us... but no one picked up the phone... hahahaha... ta bao 2 slices of pizza for him... hahahaha... cos we cannot finish it...

saw krishnan on the way back to sb... if he nv met us, he'd have forgotten bout the tutorial...

the tutorial was super short... cos he only go thru 2 questions...

since time was still early before the talks start, me and hf went to spac2go clubrm to chit chat... hahahaha... toked alot of things la... nan de tok to her like tat...

went for the talk... there's 2 tok tat day... one on bachelor of social work... the other on being SIA cabin crew... escaped off earlier to go hm with hf since we got tqm test the next day... in the end, nv manage to go hm much earlier cos raining cats and dogs in wdl... shopped ard in cwp... looked for formal biz wear since i have to wear it daily for itp... but like nothing like tat leh...

studied for my tqm test... all the way until i fell asleep at 0100...

thurs...
was late for csb minutes test... one of the last few to arrive in class.... the test so dumb... tok a lot of irrelevant things... then not clear de... such a lousy quality... tsk tsk... in the end, had to ask ard to confirm the details...

went late for tqm tutorial since it's the other class tat's presenting... hahahaha... had an early lunch before going in... he cut short the last grp's presentation... then gave a few tips before releasing us...

went to t2241 for free access... actually is just book a com to enjoy the aircon while waiting for next lesson to start...

antony's class was again super relaxed... hahahaa... today's the best man... he came in then tok cock with us... hf kept asking bout his love story... bout him and his wife... how they met etc... hahahahaha... majiam gou zai dui like tat... hahahahaha....

tested alvin on tqm... he really can remember almost everything... thru testing him, i also managed to remember more things... hahahahaha...

tqm test was rather easy... actually is very easy cos when we see the question paper, then we started asking each other le... hahahaha... was stucked at one question... heng rohaidah asked miszah tat question during the test then i managed to overhear it...

after the test, went out with my class ppl... hahahaha... got 2 sides jio me...hf jio me go cwp shopping for formal wear, then the guys jio me go watch movie... in the end, went jp to watch spongebob squarepants the movie with mabel and jac... hahahaha... it's a bloody lame and cock show la... laugh all the way man... the guys actually wanna go watch the eye 10 de... but front row left... so they nv watch...

after the movie, went long john to have dinner... chit chat until 10 plus then left there... was at the mrt station when jq called... then waited for them... hahahaha.... can't imagine 4 guys eating and chit chatting all the way frm 7 pm till 10 plus pm... didn't know guys so chang qi one... hehehehehe....

ok la... tat's all for now... nothing much left le....

ciaoz...

yeah~~ finally got my hair cut... hahahaha... almost 6 mths nv cut my hair le... hahahaha...

anyway, finally saw ryan today... he still as naughty as before... but his temper har... tsk tsk... getting frm bad to worse le... but i just love to bully him... hahahahaha... but he also got bully me... he disrupt my sleep...

when i'm napping just now, he came up on my bed and started playing with my hair... hahaha... he so cute... he took off my rubber band and say he wanna help me style my hair...

anyway, dunno wat else to say le... now on the sleeping mode le...

gtg sleep liao... tml still got csb meeting roleplay...

ciaoz...

hmmm.... too tired for the past few days to blog... reach hm at bout 2 am everyday... then super tired le considering tat i had to look after, chase after 4 young kids, the oldest being 6 yrs old...

so many things i had to do... on tues, i had to go to sch... at first plan to pon pdwm lect de... cos too tired to go... but in the end still went for it... after sch, went to cwp to buy slippers before going my grandma hse... cos my slippers is bright green in colour... then not suitable for the funeral...

went up my grandma hse to change... waited like an idiot for the toilet... in the end, i realised tat there's no one in there... my grandma closed the door to prevent my young cousins frm going in, in case they slipped... so stupid of me rite? i didn't even go and open the door... hahahaha... while waiting, my da jie came... so in the end, i went down with her...

my bro and my cousins stayed over on tues nite... i wanted to also... but then my mum dun allow... so bo bian went hm... took my uncle's lorry hm...

when at hm, i started playing maple story... cos my cousin ask me to go online to play with him... so tat i kill and he leech my exp... end up he nv come online... but my bro did...

wed...
the third day of the wake... got prayers on tat day... then if i go to sch, it'd be too late for it... so pon the whole day... went at 11am... walk to my grandma hse with my da jie... she also pon sch tat day...

play poker with my cousins... they so funny.. play tai ti the punishment is to drink a cup of water... nv join them la... just watch only...

was the "childcare" for quite a while... have to kept going after the kids...

prayer session started at 7pm... was quite tiring cos need to stand and kneel, stand and kneel... then with the kids is even worse...

all the offerings were to be burnt tat nite... then while they are preparing, i had to hold the four little kids back... cos the adults scared they might go near the fire... and i was the one to hold them back... until a distant relative call me to go and give offerings to my grandpa... then i moved the kids to the maid before going off...

had to hold hands to form a circle while the fire burns... then have to tell my grandpa wat's the unit no of his new hse... according to the priest... but me and my cousins dunno wat he saying.... and dunno wat's the no... so left it to the adults...

helped clearing up tat nite... also helped to keep the tables after the whole thing ended... while pushing the table top to a corner, it hit my leg... hahaha... clumsy rite? got swollen on the spot... found a big blue black tat nite...

was nervous bout the tqm presentation tat nite... cos the next day presentation and i haven't look thru a single thing... almost everyone stayed over tat nite... except for me... sob sob... if not for the presentation, i would've stayed le...

thurs...
last day of wake, also the day to send my grandpa to the crementorium... had to go sch for presentation... at first dun wanna go too early de... cos my mum told me the prayers start at 11 am, the time of tqm lesson...

anyway, requested to leave early tat day... and tat lecturer so chin chai de lor... so rite after i presented, i went off le... came hm to put all my stuff before going my grandpa's wake... when i reach there, they still praying... then can't squeeze in also... cos dun have joss sticks and incense paper... so after i changed, i join my cousin, jie sheng, whose leg is in case, so he cannot join them... stood there with him... then when i got a chance, i squeezed into the procession after my cousin...

managed to look at my grandpa one last time before they sealed the coffin completely... my aunts cried at tat point in time... was really sad at tat time... cos i will nv get to see him ever again... finally dropped my tears... and after tat, was crying all the way when we're supposed to sit by his coffin while the priest prays... the scene was really bad... cos everyone's crying, esp all the females... had a short rest while waiting to send my grandpa on a last journey... asked my dad to help me put my slippers on the bus...

anyway, just to mention for easy reference, the 4 youngest cousins of mine are jolene, kelvin, ivan and gary...

carried ivan while walking for th last journey... the ground is too hot for the kids to walk... mind u, it's 2 in the afternoon with a blazing sun... so have to carry him... jolene was carried by her uncle. kelvin was carried by my another cousin and poor gary... he had to walk... cos my cousin, wei hao, had carried his bro, kelvin, for the prayers just before going off... in the end, i still made wei hao carry gary... cos its really hot...

on the way, ivan kept toking to me... he was saying tat he saw the maid throwing my grandpa's bed away, tat we are going to burn my grandpa le... tat we had to walk on the hot floor... tat we're not going to see my grandpa again le... smart rite? and guess how old is he? he's just 4 yrs old lor...

halfway, wei hao put gary down again... then my er jie took over carrying him, while my bro offered to carry ivan for me.... when we were near a zebra crossing, my er jie told my da jie to carry gary after tat... in the end, when my da jie carry him, it's time we board the bus...

on the way there, gary is super quiet... ivan was toking non-stop as usual... jolene was with her dad and kelvin was with tat same cousin who carried him... gary only toked when he saw the zoo road sign... cos my grandpa was to be cremented at mandai crementorium...

the environment there is very nice.... really... it's very new i think... it looks new anyway... the sadest part is when my grandpa is sent to be cremented... the priest told all of us to shout to my grandpa's spirit to be careful of the fire... in the end, we dun even know wat's going on until much later... cos our generation hokkien not gd... then no one translate for us... but it's really saddening cos everyone including those distant relatives broke down into tears... even my mum.... then my da yi and san yi is the worse... they cry until my mum have to support my da yi and my san yi zhang have to support my san yi...

when we left the viewing rm, my xiao yi was sobbing in her husband's arms... i see already also very sad...

after tat, we have to unpin the "xiao"... it's different cloth pin onto the t-shirt to show ur relationship with the decease... then took off the socks to wear our shoes to go back hm... here comes the pai sei part... as earlier, i ask my dad to put my slipper on the bus... in the end, my dad dunno pass to who... end up my slippers was lost and i had to go back bare-footed... then my sis they all very bad... still make me walk to get them drinks when they had their shoes on lor... then the floor is so badly littered with peanut shells... sharp one lor...

luckily for me, my dad found my slippers in the end... dunno frm who also... after lunch, went up to my grandma hse... super tired by then... but cannot go hm yet... cos need to settle all the stuff... then having dinner there also...

finally went hm at 6 plus... then took my uncle's lorry hm again... after showering and the last episode of 1/2 yuan fen, i went to sleep le... super duper tired...

fri...
went to sch as usual... think i left sch too early for this one whole week... hf they all so funny... ask me today no need to leave early ar? hahaha... actually wanna go collect my grandpa's ashes with my mum de... but dun wanna be late for lecture... so in the end nv go...

went to spac2go clubrm to put my photo for ndp... dunno if the photo can ma... cos was taken when i'm in sec 3... but bo bian la... no time this week to go take photo...

skipped my lunch cos dun feel like eating after i went back to sb frm saa... fma was next... luckily, i did my fma tutorial last week le... so this wk no need to do...

had my usual picnic during tms lecture... hahahaha... got western food in... so nice... hahahahaha... wun get caught cos jq sitting in front of me... and block me frm ms ok's view.. hahahaha... the advantage of sitting at the last row...

after the 1st hr of lect, we got a break... then i got yogurt drink and an apple in... hahahaha... eat something oily le have to get fruits to clear my intestine... hahahaha... tok cock...

anyway, did nothing constructive frm fri nite till now... play solitaire all the time... ar bo is watch tv... sianz~~

anyway, the only gd news is tat i got my itp attachment le... it's at 78 shenton way, which is so much closer to tanjong pagar mrt than raffles place... the pay is 440 bucks and i'm in the same coy as lp and hf... got gd and got bad la...

gtg... need to have my beauty sleep le... super tired since i broke my record... got up at 8am this morning... tired tired tired...

ciaoz...