wahahaha... i'm finally here to blog again...

shall update frm my last entry...

mon was fun... although i had to get up to go to sch at 9am... tot finally can rest liao... but got dragged to sch tat early... hahaha...

first activity of tat day is supposed to officailly start for me at 11 am de... but no one informed me, so posted a msg on spac2go's blog... then alex replied saying tat 9 am got camp briefing... so i just go lor... see, i'm such a good member... hahahahaha... in the end, this one actually i not needed de... cos the organiser nv inform me at all... but since already went to sch so early, then might as well be there lor... and i am damn early... wrong estimation of time again... so wat to do when u are early?

hahahaha.... i just stroll slowly to fc 5 and on my way there decided to go to the toilet to tie up my hair first... but when i reach fc 5, i was still the first few spac2go seniors there... but luckily hx and diana came very soon... they so funny lor... diana was not involved de... but got dragged to sch by hx... hahaha...

this yr's camp briefing is damn sadz... i think the yr 1 is going to hate us... camp haven't start then have to come so early to sch... if there's some other activities accompanying this briefing still nvm... but the thing is, all they were here for was to collect some forms and off they go... diaoz right?? i think if i'm the freshie har... i sure wun be happy de lor... 9 am in the morning leh... then travel all the way frm hm till sch just to collect some forms and go back hm...

in the end, we still had like 1 hr plus to spare before the training... then diana too hungry tat she went to buy food le... hahaha... end up going to fc 2 for breakfast with alex, hx and diana... after breakfast then went to saa to collect the keys to the lt for training... just bout to reach the place le then hf msg me to ask me where is it... hahaha... waited so long in the lt for ppl to come in... end up we got no time to present finish... hahaha... the somemore me, hx, serene and hf were the last grp to present with less than 5 mins... and we managed to present finish in tat short period of time... hahahaha... cos we were all speeding thru the slides...

after training le still got lotza time before the bbq... so i went hm...

had lunch then went to ntuc with my mum... bought honey for the bbq as well... then told my mum to put it in a separate bill cos need to bring ryan to the toilet... but she forgot... so bo bian have to go tiong bahru then buy... came hm packed all the things i need for the bbq then went off... met lp at the mrt station... then went with her to the ntuc there cos i haven't finish buying the things... then saw hf inside as well... so the 3 of us shopped together... when we are paying, salina msg me to say tat they go first... i told them to wait for a while but they say they wanna go first... so gave them the directions i got frm the streetdirectory webby... not my fault ok... but it's the directory tat say get off at the 4th bus stop... and i already told them to get down at the bus stop oppo st theresa's convent... in the end they go count the wrong bus stop... then got off at the next stop...

the bbq was fun... lp helped to set up the fire first.. but in the end was unsuccessful... then sp finally got it started...

start to cooked a few things... then rohaidah, salina and wirna took over... in then end, the cooking process was quite slow... so me and mabel went to ask the guard to switch on the gas supply... the bbq pit at mrs ong's hse is so special... got a choice of using charcoal or gas to cook... hahaha... i was cooking at the gas one when the whole aluminium caught fire... wahahaha... cos of the fire? aluminium with holes and too much margarine and honey added... so kana fire... hahahaha...

clearing up the pit was damn troublesome... then somemore there are ppl who kept toking and not offering any help even after u request them to... but i nv say much in order not to spoil ppl's mood... clear until when mrs ong came out, she's surprise at how clean the place is... hahaha... thx to mabel, lp, kor and ly who helped me...

was bloody tired when i got hm... my leg already aching like mad cos of my slippers... so soaked my legs in the massager for a long time... hahahaha....

tues was boring... just spent my day playing with ryan, fetching him frm sch and reading my book...

oh ya... went to the pasa malam with my sis too... feel like majiam i'm their atm like tat... sun went with my er jie, i pay first... then tues went with my da jie also i pay first...

my da jie got the mi zi ji pa... then the auntie think she got too much chilli powder to spare... we only ask her to add more and in the end, she sprinkle the chilli powder on both sides of the meat before cutting it up and sprinkle even more before putting it into the bag... super duper hot la...

wed had to last min go and fetch ryan cos my mum can't make it hm in time... tat baby so funny lor... when he saw me, he was like "why is it u and not mm(he calls my mum tat)" so in the end i brought him to find my mum... basically i dunno where is she... but make a lucky guess and was right... hahahaha...

ok la... think u all would be bored to death reading my blog now... hahahaha

found all my past entries are blogged everyday... and it's the same thing over and over again... hahahaha... well... bo bian la... i dun have a colourful life wat... just the boring everyday routine... hahahaha...

next time i'll blog when i have something interesting...

ciaoz...

hahahaha... finally exams are over and the hols are here again...

hope my hols will be full of events and wun be stuck at hm all day long... (*hint hint)

hahahaha... looking forward to later... where i'll be going to watch my sis perform for smrt's event... then tml got spac2go event and bbq for class gathering... hehehehe...

can ask me out anyday... but most nights wun be free cos muz go give tuition... it's the exam month for my tutee... tml then she got paper le...

hahaha... my mum and dad very onz bout my sis's performance... they wanna go watch both 1pm and 3pm performances...

hahahaha...

anyway, i found tat i'm one lucky kid... hahahaha... my parents are so sweet to each other... they do "fight"... by tat, i mean kicking each other and tickling each other in a playful way... hahahaha...

tat day they need to go for someone's (who used to live in the same villiage as my mum) funeral... then my dad at first wants me to go with her de... but in the end, he accompany her go... then the two of them so sweet lor... my mum cycle then my dad sit on her bike on the way there... then on the way back, it's the opposite... and sweetest thing is tat my parent's transportation there is my mum's bicycle... so romantic... hahahahaha...

anyway, i wanna go play game le... finally can do so... then can finish watching my inuyasha le... going to pia finish all 163 episodes in this month...

hahahaha...

ciaoz...

read thru my fren's blog just now... and things tat happened today made me realised something...

i am nv a good fren...

and have no frens at all... perhaps only a few who would really care about me... but i'm really sorry to disappoint them... cos i'm very not someone who can maintain friendships no matter how long i haven't seen a person...

all my frenship are seemingly short-lived... there is not one well maintained frenship tat even when i'm not in the same class or school as tat person, we'd still keep in contact...

just realised wat a pathetic person i am...

sigh...

most ppl say ur sec sch frens are those who will be closest to u even after u step into working society... but wat bout my sec sch frens? how many of them are still keeping in touch with me and updating me wat's going on in their life?

the answer? none at all...

not even hf who is in my class... was on the same train as her when we went to sch for our exam... dun even know wat is going on in her life... sad isn't it?

haha... she was toking to ty... and i dun even know wat they are toking bout...

sometimes i feel tat i'm just another person in class... it's like even if i met them on the way to sch, i'll just be like any other passenger on the train... as if i dunno them...

i dunno how long i can take this kind of life anymore...

maybe u can say tat i'm an attention seeker... maybe it true... sometimes i just wish tat someone could pay me some attention... tat i could be in the limelight for something positive... but i dun think tat will be very possible since i'm very stupid... even when someone ever so rarely come and ask me a question, the answer i'd give them is i dunno...

i'm such a stupid failure...

really wonder how many of them would notice when i'm away in class... my guess would be tat it is none as usual... or maybe if i'm optimistic, my guess would be only one or two out of the whole class of 20 ppl...

if i'm to vanish frm this world, i dun think anyone would notice ba... haha... dun even think tat anyone in the world would care at all...

i am not a social creature... i am a loner...

no one would even care if i'm a loner...

wonder how much worse my social life could get... will it degrade until my life consist of only work/sch and home?? there's a high possibility since i am nv Ms. sociable, Ms. well-liked and Ms. friendly...

wat i wan is just someone who is willing to share their lives with me, and listen to all my happiness and woes... is tat alot to ask of??

i'm not initiative and i know i muz change... but it's just so hard to change...

i'm always knowing how my past frens are going on with their lives thru blogs and other common frens... i'm nv the first one tat they will update their lives with... nv ever... is it becos tat u dun trust me? maybe so... i really dunno... i can keep secrets well... but just no one ever confines in me... even now, i dun really know why i go to gatherings... to give myself a chance to mix with them? but no one ever comes and tok to me... even when i tok to them also is a question and answer session.. it's so disappointing tat i'm starting to wonder the purpose of me going to such gatherings...

the closest to me in my old lot used to be cf... but i dunno if he is scared tat i still like him or wat, seems to be shunning me whenever we have any gatherings... pls la... i'm long over our relationship, just tat amongst those present, u are the next closest to me... so obviously as a usual person, u'd stick with the most familiar person in a going stranger gathering...

if other ppl were to walk alone at the back of the group, there'll usually be someone who'd notice and go accompany him/her... but it's nv the case for me...

sometimes in my attempt to mix in, i'd feel like i'm a pests to all of my frens... am i really such a pests to u all?

maybe some of u might even cheer if i'm ever gone from this world... who would be sad? and who'd even missed me as a fren?

i'm really sick and tired of all these...

no one ever cares...

ciaoz...

shall keep this entry short...

now in exam period... but got no study mood... die...

finished one today... 4 more to go...

just changed the song of my blog as u can hear... unless u dun come here often...

hahaha...

wanted to put another song de... but tat website too slow to dl... so change to Forbbiden Love by S.E.N.S..

i like S.E.N.S. very much... their music all very nice de... hehehehe... esp the one i originally wanna put de... it's called True Love by S.E.N.S..

got chance go and find ba...

anyway, can anyone tell me how to upload my own song onto my blog? dun wanna use other website's link cos it lags like shit...

anyone knows? can drop me a msg on my tag board...

thx...

ciaoz...

haiz... all gd things muz come to an end... this is the end of my long weekend... tml gotta go sch again le...

anyway, had a fun day today... went to the food fest with my mum, bro, da jie and ryan... then tat lil baby so funny... got good food then he keep eating...

aiyo... dunno wat i'm gonna write le la... all cos of my mum and jie... kept toking beside me...

oh ya... anyone wanna upgrade their mobile plan can pls inform me?? i wanna change my phone... but got no plan for me to use... everyone in my family including my sis's bf had just upgraded our plans less than 1 yr ago... so no plan to upgrade...

haiz... dun feel like toking anymore le... damn sianz... the phone i wan always will go out of stock when i wanna buy it... damn...

haiz... only thing tat can cheer me up is tml le... they're gonna show takuya's pride on channel u, starting tml evening at 7.30...

all muz remember to watch leh... very very nice de... hahahaha...

ciaoz...

wahahaha... happy teachers' day to all in the teaching profession out there...

hahaha... i'm so happy today... first, yest had a super fun day... nan de went out with 11 of my classmates, including gurdip, li jiuan and junliang who rarely join us... hahaha... it's the first time i went out with li jiuan... and yest then know tat we can get along well... hahaha... at first still scared will be rather weird... cos my usual clique dun quite tok to them... then the guys invited her along... but still alright la... at least i tried to tok to her when the guys were toking amongst themselves...

secondly, there was no 9am lesson... cos conrad went finland with xiao hei, meaning that i had an hour more to sleep before going for fm, which is at ten... hehehehe... then i did my assigned question before hand le...

thirdly, my fm ca result got back le... it was better than i expected... cos at least i managed to pass although it was a rather slight pass... i think i'm quite an easily contented person... i'm satisfied with wat i have in life...

fourthly, my ecml evaluation i think i did rather well being the last in my grp tat he asked... then the first few ppl de i still know... so considered quite gd le ba... then the one tat mr tang asked me was something that i didn't know or think hard enough la... so it's my fault...

fifth, today's bd is only to go in to watch and shoot ppl until they die... wahahahahaha... i know i'm being mean la... but i'm just trying to get some participation marks for myself... hehehehe... then somemore they can't shoot me back le... cos my presentation finish liao... hehehehe....

lastly, me tutee so cute... tat day she told me on teacher's day she wanna get something for me then told her no need le she still got prepare... hahahaha... first time i get teacher's day present... hahahahaha... children's day must get her something also.. and i know wat to get her le... hahahaha... she always been wanting to use my shaker... so shall get tat for her...

anyway, i wanna continue watching inuyasha soon le... but my bro still watching anime on arts central... bo bian have to wait for him... hahahaha... meanwhile will slack and go blog hopping... hehehe...

ciaoz...

now i'm in school...

why am i STILL able to blog despite having so many projects, u might wonder...

why?

it's all becos i'm forgotten....

i dun think anyone i'm doing project with knows that i'm actually in their group...

just like now...

wat they do i dunno... i tried to find out... but no one responded to me...

went to see another project... i didn't even know they start le... they start they nv tell me...

so... tell me... wat is this? i'm i so insignificant tat u all nv notice me?

it's not tat i dun wanna do... but did any of u take my work and word seriously? ask urself... did i ever have a chance to be contributing?

true tat some of u have given me the chance for contributing although i have missed many meetings due to tuition... and i'm grateful to u...

but...

even when u give me work such as ensuring the ppt slides run smoothly, all with same size and same format, with the different backgorund for the slides, making me work until late at night at 2.40AM while u all are happily in dreamland?! ok... i dun mind doing until so late...

but the thing is tat wat for do u want me to do so much when u DUN EVEN APPRECIATE MY EFFORT??

let me ask u...

wat's the use of asking me to do all these when the next day u changed everything i've done? it's just wasting my precious sleeping time... it's not like i want to go for tuition de lor... if got a choice, i might as well stay with u all to do the project...

i feel like i'm again the bloody extra here... at least when u all do project can ask me to go de ma...

like now this grp... they do wat they nv tell me... then when they finally give me something to do and i spotted a mistake, everyone's ignoring me when i tried to raise it up no matter how hard i tried to get their attention... i'm i really tat soft tat u all can't hear me or is it tat u all are too busy tat u can't hear me even when i'm nearly shouting beside u?

really so sick and tired of this life... i really think tat even if i suddenly disappear frm this world one day, no one would even notice tat...

i will write no more... for i shall not drop my tears for this...

ciaoz...

argh... so many projects... but got no time to do...

stress of projects is finally catching up wth me... out of the six modules i'm taking, five of them are with projects... and all deadlines are during the next two weeks... so many projects means got many presentation as well... so stress...

haiz... sometimes i just wish i'm a billionnaire... then no need to work... and can get a mp3 and a new phone... oh... and a digi cam too... i not very fussy de... a 512 mb mp3 would be gd enough for me... no need to have screen to show wat some is next de... got would be an advantage la...

haiz... sianz... my stupid phone is getting frm bad to worse le... who can save me phone without me having to pay them? hahaha... really like motorola A668... so nice cos got writing function and can read chinese and got camera...

digi cam would be the last in my list la... cos i got cam phone le... so no need for digi cam... if the hp got video recording even better... hahahaha... then can save on digi cam le...

think i'll have to wait for 4 mths before i can start saving up for such luxury things... sob sob... tuition is taking up a lot of my time... but bo bian have to teach to earn extra income... shld start saving up le... pls dun ask me go out too often... window shopping can ask me along too la... but to eat gd food, go ktv, bowling, pool etc then can ask la... but most likely not going... see if i got extra cash for those entertainment ma...

haiz... when can i find someone to sponsor me??

hahahaha... think i'm going mad frm the lack of sleep...

ciaoz...

argh...

my bloody v200 is failing me... so pek chek... my v200 the menu button need to press until i pek chek then will work... argh... who can sponsor me a new phone? hopefully is a new motorola A668.. hahaha... kidding... guess i'll have to save up, postpone my haircut and all other expenses until i have enough $$ to buy it...

anyway, the gd news is i might get a new laptop... hahahaha... thx to my er jie... cos she's gonna stay in hall again le... so she wanna bring a com there... but this com tat i'm using now is super lousy and according to her, always kana virus in her sch... then the laptop is not possible cos my da jie and me need it for sch, then the better pc my bro need to use... so my mum decided to get a new laptop cos if get desktop then my house got no place to put le... then my er jie says if i need it then she'll bring it hm and let me use for the week... yeah~~~ wahahahahaha...

now just wondering when can get the new laptop... hmmm.... and hopefully i wun get the lousy and heavy laptop... hahahahaha...

anyone got and cheap and good laptop deal to intro to me? hehehe... if got, feel free to drop a msg for me in my tagboard...

thx...

ciaoz...

had a very strange dream last night... but it's not a nightmare la.. hahahaha...

dreamt tat i was accompanying kor for lunch... then suddenly the scene change to inside a sch... then i was with my mr. right... the dream is so funny and sweet... hahahaha... dreamt tat my mr right went to play basketball... then in the end i just went off to tok with my sec sch classmates... then he came and pacify me... hahahaha... too bad dunno how he look like... hahahaha...

dreams are very funny things la.... dunno how i came about dreaming bout it... maybe cos of moulin rouge tat i watch before i went to bed? hahahaha... dunno also...

anyway, today so bloody suay... was eating lunch when i spilled food on myself... like little kid like tat... tsk tsk... all becos of the stupid food... haiz... then rainy weather also affects my mood...

si bei sian...

ciaoz...

it's the hols now... but i dun seem to enjoy it much... still havta go to sch almost everyday to do project, attend smart briefing and have a stupid tok on coming sat...

only today's better... just tat have to wake up early to go for the training... then the afternoon is all free... wahahahaha...

when i reached hm, went down to mac to buy my lunch since my voucher is going to expire soon... might as well use it... after tat, went to borrow dvd from the play machine... borrowed the movie "my boyfriend is type b"... it's a rather cock movie... but really funny... and quite touching at some parts... maybe those who watched it le might disagree tat it's touching... but i'm quite a crybaby la... hahahaha... see ppl cry i'll also cry de...

was surfing the web just now... and found something hilarious... there was one part in the movie of "my boyfriend is type b" where the guy drag the ger out of the cinema cos of a boring movie... and guess wat... the movie tat they are watching is "wet dreams 2" wahahahaha... this is wat the webby says "The movie that amuses Han-Mi, but bores Young-Bin so much that he has to flee the theater is Wet Dreams 2."

wahahahahaha... so bloody funny... makes me wonder if i shld go watch tat movie...

anyway, gtg sleep le... my songs finish downloading le...

ciaoz...

finally... i'm here to blog... wahahahaha...

i think by this time no one would read my blog anymore le... hahahaha... cos i rarely blog nowadays... too busy...

anyway, today had a rather fun day... cos got spac2go event... hahahaha... actually is the sec sch students come to sp the me and hf is supposed to brief them on their treasure hunt game... then so funny lor... cos after they left for their game, only me, hf, kris and jasper are left in the auditorium... then end up hf and jasper started singing using the mic... so funny lor... then they say it's project superstar... hahahaha... end up me and kris being the "judges"...

brief the kids also so funny... cos we're supposed to get their attention... then to do so, u cannot threaten them or be rude... so bo bian... treat them like coaxing little kids like tat... hahahaha... use a serious tone they dun listen then end up using a tone i use on pri 1 kids then they listen... hahahaha...

anyway, now my throat slightly sore le... cos just now when i giving tuition, dafinah made me read her 2 stories... anyone got any cure for sore throats?

hahahaha...

ciaoz...

haiz... if only...

if only my mum would want to get a new line.... then i can get the phone i want!!!

so tempted to buy motorola A668!! it's so cheap now if i sign up starhub line... but i dun wanna give up my singtel line also leh... the number so nice... but if i sign up for starhub line also no use... cos no one calls me de...

damn sian...

haiz... later still got fm ca1... nv study much yet...

gtg...

ciaoz...

yes~! wahahahaha... i finally got my juice extractor le!!! muahahahaha.... and it's at a cheap price... i did not even pay a cent of my $$...

wondering y? all becos of my robinson voucher given by misc... haahahaha... jio mabel go shopping on fri... then in the end her shoes spoilt... so we went to robinson to shop... since we are at robinsons, i so bad... made mabel walk the whole robinsons just so tat i can find wat i want and use the voucher to pay for her new shoes and my things together... in the end, i nv find anything nice (as in clothes) and things i need at robinsons, until we reach lvl 4... then i found my juice extractor... wahahahaha... tat day very fun but super tiring...

we walked all the way frm far east to paragon to centrepoint to og to plaza sing... a long long way... and we stopped and shopped at all the places i've mentioned....

alvin and kor joined us at papragon... thou alvin came first la... but i think he very sian... cos me and mabel sure shop female dept de ma... after jq joined le then better... at least they got each other as company... hahahahah... however, they went off to watch movie after we reach centrepoint...

anyway, had a fun day on fri... and slacked at hm for the whole of sat... muahahahaha... watched tv since i woke up... just love the jap drama on channel U on sat... hehehehe... the title of the show is 美女か野獣 starring 松島菜々子　and 福山雅治...

ok la... brain malfunctioning now... wanna sleep le... but sihui still sending me some smap things... which is 100,000 over kb... i'll have to wait until mad le... dunno wat time will finish...

ciaoz...

hahahaha... did u all manage to figure out who is there in this pic? hahahaha... it'd be a funny pic if there was flash light... but to save the batt, we nv on...

anyway, this was taken yesterday for gbe...

okok... time to update... tuition has started again.... then my bd is touching up on the questionnaire le... met up with my sec sch frens last sat... then saw xj on thurs...

the most impt event of the past week... i got a kor kor le... wahahahahaha... of cos is fake kor kor la... and it's jq... hahahaha...

he so funny lor... keep making me call him kor... hahahahha... cos nan de got ppl call him kor...

anyway, one project finishing le... yet another to be started... i better go prepare for my gbe presentation which is on mon...

ciaoz...

hahaha... i got a very nice song frm lp... it's lonely by akon...

Lonely I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

hahahaha... if this happens in my life and someone sing this song to me, i'll be damn touched... wahahahaha...

but if someone sings "Iwas born to love you" this song to me even better...
hahahaha... it's more touching...

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day...
chorus:
I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

You are the one for me
I am the man for you
You were made for me
You're my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity
I'd kill for your love

So take a chance with me
Let me romance with you
I'm caught in a dream
And my dream's come true
It's so hard to believe
This is happening to me
An amazing feeling
Comin' through

chorus

I wanna love you
I love every little thing about you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Yes I was born to love you
Born - to love you
Born - to love you
Every single day - of my life

An amazing feeling
Coming through

chorus

Yes I was born to love you
Every single day of my life

Go, I love you babe
Yes I was born to love you
I wanna love you, love you, love you
I wanna love you
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely
Yeah, I want to love you
Yeah, give it to me

wonder when then i'll be the female lead of the songs... haha...

ciaoz...

urgh!!! this is getting so stupid!!

why muz they involve the yr 3s? can't they just leave us alone? we're busy enough bout our studies le... it's not as if we'll still be in sch for another 2 years or so lor... pls la... teach us le also no use lor... tootz leh...

u muz be wondering wat i'm toking bout... it's my stupid cca la... the officer want us to learn some stupid programme that the sch has so that it can aid us in counselling ppl... pls lor... who dunno how to use the bloody programme? just anyhow explore la... some bloody asshole who told her tat he/she dunno how to use... are u really tat dumb tat u dunno wat is call explore the programme on ur own? bloody hell lor... get the whole club into trouble... then she also so strange... ask the yr 2 to learn can le wat... they learn then they can pass down the knowledge... we already leaving le still want us to learn... wat a waste of resources and ppl's time... can't they just have a booklet on how to use the damn bloody programme? if i'm not doing project tml still nvm... but the damn bloody thing is tat i need to do my project tml and the time clashes... it's my final yr project lor... whether i get out of poly depends a lot on this leh... bloody helll...

argh... i think i shall just pon it tml... heck liao la... anyway i already say before le... dun expect me to be as committed as before... now just let me enjoy life after the 1 yr in committee... no point being so active le... to be practical and say it in a frank way, there is no way i can get a dist in cca... i'm not tat mad... an A is enough... secondly, i'm no longer in committee le... so when u all need help then find me... otherwise dun make me go for this kind of stupid training... learning a programme? hahahaha... pls lor... my IT programmes all pick up on my own one lor... and somemore this kind of programme is for ppl with low IT literacy also can use de lor... just explore and find the button to click la... wat's so difficult? bloody hell... if i ever know who is tat bloody idiot tat told ms angelvine tat they dunno how to use the programme, i'll really knock sense and some BASIC IT skills tat this person dun possess into him/her...

argh argh argh!!!! BLOODY HELLL!!!!

time is precious... i shall not waste any time on stupid things... studies is my priority now... cca is only second... so watever tat is going to clash, i'd go for studies related... heck to cca le...

finish venting my anger le... thx for reading...

ciaoz...

just finished reading my sis's blog... hahahaha... feel so inspired to write an entry like hers... wahahahaha...

anyway, not really possible la.. my eng not as pro as hers... hahahaha...

just love drinking milk... milk is gd for health... tasty and healthy...

wahahahahha... some ppl might think i'm very health concious... but i'm not... just tat i love eating fruits and drinking milk... i love eating junk food also...

eating is a big part of my life... and i dun exercise... wahahahahaha.... tat explains y i look like tat... wahahahahaha...

think i'm going mad le...

can't wait for tml... finally can start on bd proper le since dbf ppl come back frm their itp...

going to start play the inuyasha game my bro managed to dl for me... wahahahahaha.... hopefully can agar agar play cos it's in jap....

ciaoz...

hahahaha... finally i'm here...

at first dun intend to blog de... but have to la... cos need to change something also... hahahhaha... so here i am...

ok... just a hopefully quick update...

spent the whole sunday making dumplings... freaking tired and the kitchen is so bloody hot... but had a nice time... cos nan de can do something together with my mum and my dad... hahahaha... although not my whole family is at hm... but it's fun making dumplings with my parents and my bro... it's not everyday tat i can to do things and interact alot with my dad...

mon nothing special... just tat i went to meet my bd grp... not bad la... thou i'm the only ger... but nvm la... i also quite boyish de... on our way there, alvinwas psychoing jq to follow us since we're early... then in the end, jq really come... hahahaha... but he eat finish his icecream then he went off le la... cos by tat time, andy already reach le...

had generally quite a gd time with my grp... luckily they're all very friendly ppl la... just tat andy is more to the quiet side la... but this is only the first meeting lor... i also very quiet there... but those of u who know me well shld know tat i super noisy de...

went hm together with bryan since we both taking the same line... at first still scared will be quite strange cos got it's only the first time we've interacted... but it turns out tat we got alot of things to tok about... hahahaha... thx to the common frens tat we have...

today nothing much la... just tat somehow i still feel tat one of those tat i was once closed to seem to be avoiding me... i dunno wat's wrong la... maybe it's my way of thinking or my behaviour tat annoys you... but u can just tell me de lor... dun like it when ppl just keep giving me cold shoulder out of a sudden... i dunno wth is going on lor... sry if u think i might know... but in actual fact, i'm super slow in realizing things de lor...

after sch went to clubrm to slack with hf... so long nv have a proper chance to tok to her alone le lor... then went to watch them play tennis until 0515 when i have a meeting at 0500... hahahahha... time really flies... now it's time to plan the next year 1 training le... i at first kena the post of treasurer de... in the end they say since i got so many ideas on saboing ppl, they put me as the game master... sianz lor... have to find bonding games le... anyone got any game to intro to me?? hehehe... just feel free to email them to me or drop msges on my tagboard bout it...

after meeting, went back to watch hf they all play tennis... can't go hm yet cos their things in the clubrm and the key's with me... so end up waiting until 7 plus... then went hm with hf, km and jasper... but nv go eat with them cos my mum cooked and i too tired to go la... hahahaha...

okok... this is the impt part of this entry...

ppl reading my blog...
if u all dun like the way i behave or think, basically anything bout me tat u dun like or can't agree with de hor...
pls dun just nv tok to me then start giving me cold shoulders hor...
i very open to suggestion and criticism de...
by telling me, u're actually helping me lor...
u'll be able to let me know where and when i'm stepping over the line so tat i dun become overboard lor...
if u dun like the way i behave and shy to tell me directly in fear of hurting me or our frenship for eg, pls tell someone close to me... so tat i can at least go find out frm them...
anyway, if u really treat me as a fren, u shldn't mind if u'd hurt my feelings or not... true frens will tell you things tat you dun wanna hear de...
i wun accept you breaking this frenship without a vilid reason de... muahahahaha...

anyway, tat's bout all la... dun wanna tell me wat's wrong with me straight to my face, u have the alternatives of dropping it on my tagboard or email me... u want slow mail i also dun mind de... hahahaha...

ciaoz...

finally one wk has ended...

i think i really like my timetable a lot... wahahaha... cos i got a long wkend!! friday no need to go sch... yeah!!

this whole wk was cca wk in sch... went there whenever i got the time... then did my duty on tues... one thing i can conclude... this kind of things hor... cannot put 3 seniors together de... cos all 3 will slack together... hahahaha... just like me, florence and eugene... went there again on wed... this time go there with mabel, jac and ly... hahahaha... so funny lor... the 4 of us trying to act like freshies... and there are actually ppl who believe... this shows tat kids nowadays look very chao lao... really lor... this new batch of yr 1 hor... u cannot tell the diff between them and the yr 2s and 3s... this time round, the four of us managed to bluff our way to balloons!! hahahaha... we each(except for ly) got a flower balloon each... wahahahaha...

anyway, mon and thurs got bd... then my grp i'm the only ger, then only me and alvin are frm dba... the rest all dbf de... not bad la... bd lesson is a time for me to look at guys... wahahaha... cos got quite a bit of shuai ge in tat class...

went bowling with my class ppl... the guys so pro... hahahaha... i bloody lousy de lor... hahahaha... dun think i ever scored more than 90 ba... shows how bad i am... saw this guy... not bad looking de... and his bowling is so pro... wahahahaha... nan de got ppl will make me turn my head twice de... hahahahaha...

okok... this is a very impt part of this entry... wahahahaha... for those who recently visited my blog, u'd notice tat i've changed my song frm rick price's "only heaven know" to queen's "i was born to love you"... this song has now become my favourite!! wahahahaha... was watching jap drama "pride" starring takuya kimura!! wahahaha.. he so drop dead handsome... he's so cool when his playing ice hockey!! gosh... he's good no matter wat he's acting as... hairdresser, pilot, ice hockey player, pianist, public prosecutor.... any roles also he's gd... pride is really a nice show u all should watch if possible...

tat's how i spent my fri... watching pride... hahahaha... of cos still got go bank, play with lil ryan and bring him to the library lah... but the show made up majority of my day...

today was spent watching tv, helping my mum preparing the ingredients to make the dumpling tml...

so... tat's all for my entry la...

ciaoz...

sometimes i wonder if one is born to be a loner... well... tat seems to be the case for me... is my ren yuan really tat bad? hmmm... just dunno... sometimes i feel like i'm very left out... i'm i being pai chi? or i'm i really tat bad a person tat i dun have a single soul mate, someone who understands me very well?

maybe cos i'm never popular... never was there once when we were to do project tat ppl will wan me in their grp de... i think there's a big flaw in my character ba... no one is willing to really befriend me and do things with me... there was never once when i'm the centre of attention and the leader... i was ALWAYS the FOLLOWER... just hate tat lor...

i think even if i'm gone one of these days also not many ppl will notice ba...

sometimes i just dunno why ppl can change so fast... or maybe cos i'm the one resisting changes ba... i'd always drift away from my frens de... it's a ALWAYS... the most i give it is one yr... one yr after beginning of being in diff class, all my frens wud drift away frm me... even when we met up with each other, i'd nv have the chance to speak up... like in the case of my sec sch gatherings... it'd nv be me who have the chance to speak... and whenever i rarely got this chance, i'd always be interupted by someone de... it's ALWAYS like tat... and i bloody well absolutely HATE to be interupted... when i'm interupted, i'd rather keep quiet and do the listening... how can anybody hear a songle thing if everyone is toking at the same time? so sacrifice and keep quiet lor... bo bian wat... some ppl is just so inconsiderate de lor... nv wait for ppl to finish then interupt...

i think i dun have a lot of frens... those who i count as frens now i dun think will be so after this year lor... they'd as usual move to the mere acquaintance category le...

there are really many ppl who'd come in and out of ur life... these ppl are just mere acquaintances... they are not frens... frens are ppl whom without telling them, would notice tat u are not happy, notice tat u are not present during lesson and would offer to lend u their notes for the lesson tat u miss without u asking for it...

i know i'm single now... but tat does not mean tat u cannot tok to me about the ups and downs of ur relationship... it's true tat i dunno how to give gd advices... but i'd always be there to lend u my ears and even my shoulders de lor...

i know i live in a very happy family and have not been through wat u ppl in problem family experience... but still, if u need someone to grumble ur grouses to, i'd always be there de lor... even though i really cannot give advices on this area... a frenship doesn't work one way... it takes two to clap.... i dun wan a frenship where there's only me complaining to the other party... i want a frenship whereby the other party also complains to me... but... i'm i not trustworthy? maybe some of u might say so ba... but i dun think i'm so... if u label things as secret, i can swear across my heart tat no one else will ever hear about it unless u tell them... like tat time when i went abroad with the 3 guys... wat they made me promise not to tell, i really nv say a single thing out... until the ger ask me if it's true... cos one of u already spill the beans le...

although i admit, i'm not someone who can keep alot of things to myself... tat i always tok to someone to let out all my grouches, but usually those are things tat happened to me, and not wat other ppl told me...

all i ask for is to be treated as a fren... not just mere acquaintance... is tat alot to ask for? is it? really very tired of all these le... why muz ppl have feelings? why can't ppl just be heartless and just go on with their life without the emotional baggage attached... i'm just getting tired... really tired of this... should i just seal myself off from all these feelings? these feelings of being the extra big bulky spare tyre tat is being kicked ard? maybe i wun feel this sad and disappointed if i just seal myself off frm this world... i doubt anyone wud even care if i do so... i was nv impt anyway...

really hate this frenship prob... it's changing me frm being optimistic to being pessimistic which is very bad...

just hope this rough patch of life would end soon...

anyway, thx for reading my grouches... really appreciated it tat u took time off to even bother to read my blog... i'm now much better after saying things out le... and i wanna thx alvin and jq for showing ur concerns for me today... really makes me feel much better... and also to those who did not pretend tat i dun exist today... ur aknowledgement of my existence makes it worthwhile...

just hoping tat i wun appear puff eyed tml...

ciaoz...

itp finally end le... sch's starting....

kinda miss my collegues at misc... hahahaha... anyway, muz update again....

wed...
nothing much... work as usual...

thurs...
pei hf and lp order their things during lunchtime... they both intend to give kuah lapis and egg tarts to the collegues at misc during the last day...

was rather pissed off by this action of their's... just dun understand lor... usually if got a few ppl attached to a coy for intern they'd usually share to buy things for the collegues... but the thing is the 2 of them insisted on buying on their own... i know they really helped us alot during the period of attachment... but the thing is u are not earning alot frm them and if u wanna treat them on ur own, wat about those who wanna treat yet dun have tat much money to treat on their own? and if all four of us treat them individually, how wud they ppl in the coy be able to finish it all? pls la... spare a tot for them lor... tat time 2 ppl treat at a time already so many of them complain le lor... imagine this time is the four of us treat together... who wud be able to finish... and it's after lunch also lor... i mean pls la... lunch already made ppl so bloody full le lor... go back office still have to eat wat u give them... u think they pig ar?

okay okay... vented enough le... time to carry on... since they both wanna treat on their own, so nvm lor... in the end i share with shimei... a choc cake... and we decided to give them before lunch... so tat they'd have no excuse but to take...

fri...
gave them the cake the first thing in the morning... gave shimei's dept followed by mine... cos these two are top piorities... shirlin they all at first wanna reject de... but i force them to take... muahahaha...

tok to my supervisor while we were still giving out the cake... then see his mood so happy faster gave him my log bk... hehehe... in the end, i think he first time mark ppl log bk lor... still ask me if he need to give kevin ma... so funny lor... then in the end, susie pass by... then she so de siao one lor... cos i only give him all at once ma... the hf is those tat gave her supervisor every week de... so susie told him tat we are supposed to give our suspervisor our log bk every week de... make me so pai sei in front of him lor... cos he ask me how come he nv every week get it...

work was much more than the past few days... non-stop de... hahahaha... occasional breaks were when lp is still waiting for her performa to end, and shimei waiting to use the fax machine... on one of those breaks, lp's dept so sweet de lor... they really dote her like their own kid like tat... will crack jokes to entertain her, tok to her and side her when there's trouble de... then they're the first dept tat gave her things lor... they long planned today le...

just before lunch, lp came and ask me if we wanna join her dept in having lunch... she say they wanna treat us... then ask where we wanna go and eat... in the end, during lunchtime, they still book a mini bus bring us to bukit merah there eat lor... so nice of them... mr kumar, mr sim, mas, jeffery, roz and the receptionist...

my biggest surprise was after lunch... at first still tot tat my dept will not do anything de... but after i came back from lunch, wendy came up to my table and passed a bag to me... then she say tat is something the four of them, wendy, shirlin, emily and crystal share to give me de... so sweet of them lor... i was so touched by them...

then shortly after tat, susie came and gave me something also... was very surprise... then hf say cos susie told her tat everyone deserves something...

work as usual... then hf and lp start to give their things...

near the end of the day then kevin appear... shimei wanted to give him the cake de... but hf dun wanna go yet... she wanted to finish all her work before going... made shimei so pissed off... in the end, kevin called us into his rm... so scary lor... majiam u do something wrong the day u left like tat... hahaha... end up being him wanna tok to us the final time before we go off... then the coy still give us a $50 robinson voucher each... he still took down our contacts... so tat next time if they need part-timers they can contact us... hahaha... hope whenever they need part-timer they'd look for us... then i no need look for job le... hehehe...

anyway, met mabel they all for dinner... thou hf got go, but i went off first... cos need to take laptop frm my sis and hf still wanna do ot for the coy on her last day.... no wonder she can get her A for itp...

anyway, life's always unfair... same supervisor, scared will bias... diff supervisor, diff grading standard... i dun deny tat i'm jealous of her getting an A while i got a B... tat's life... and life really sucks...

anyway, chat alot with them during dinner... but i think mostly is hf toking to alvin la... felt quite bad... cos all three of us are in shipping line and then they kept toking bout the time in shipping line... think mabel felt rather left out lor... so i also nv tok much la... since the 2 of them wanna tok then let them do so lor...

when we're leaving, hf was saying bout something tat ppl of the same blood grp have similar thinking... i think i totally agree with in man... i really starting to not being able to stand blood grp o ppl's way of thinking le lor... hahahaha... wonder how many ppl tat i know has blood grp b... think blood grp b is a grp of rather rare type of blood... cos majority of ppl tat i know has blood grp o... o is the most common of all the ppl i've met lor... now i only know mabel is also same as me, we're blood grp b de...

anyway, if u find it hard to understand this entry dun fret... cos i'm just typying watever tat comes into my mind... so u are really reading my tots as i type this...

anyway, shld go off le... tml sch starting... and now i'm not even sure of wat i'm typing le... hahahaha...

ciaoz...

hahaha... now got stupid show on channel 8... so lame de...

anyway, time to update since i nv managed to come online as often le...

think my memory getting shorter and shorter le... like watever happened today i'll forget it tml le...

ok... back to topic...

sun...
went to meet sid they all at yishun mrt at 1330... cos going to ms chen's hse... hahahaha... so nan de still can be close to my sec 2 form teacher...

saw no one when i reach the mrt station... tot i got the time wrong... end up it's not tat i'm early... but i totally missed sc and sq...

at first we planned to go fish and co have dinner after going her hse de... but in the end they decided to go somewhere less crowded and gurantee got place for a big grp... end up deciding to go villiage at china square central... it's a marche style restaurant... had a fun time playing with her son and toking with all of them... some i see more often, others more nan de come out...

activity ended quite late... was so tired by the time i got hm tat i got the idea of fang lp their ge zi... hahaha...

mon...
super tired day... at first plan to meet lp they all at 1000 de... but everyone so tired tat we shifted the timing to 1130 at harbour front... yup tat's right, we going sentosa to suntan...

woke up later than i wanted... then when i wanna go out le my mum bought lunch for me... so bo bian have to eat... luckily wasn't the latest there... alvin arrived at bout the same time as i did... so went to find them after tat... dilly dally until one plus then reach sentosa...

hahahaha... had a fun time tanning... managed to have quite gd tan... cos wearing my bikini... then really nan de got so free time to sit under the sun and relax....

by five or six plus, we made our way back to mainland... had our dinner at banquet at harbourfront... tok a lot of things...

after tat, mabel gave us a chanel file each... she so sweet lor... still wrote a personalised note for all of us...

well... frm tues until now always the same la... work work work... just tat this week, the workload start to get less le... i got so much free time to slack and do my logbk...

oh ya.. tat reminds me, my main motive switching on the com is to do my logbk de... argh....

ok la... end here le... until sch begins...

ciaoz...

finally... one last week till the end of itp... and it's only a four days week... yeah!!!

hahahaha...
but i'm starting to worry bout my logbk... have'nt written a single thing... die le lar...

long wkend wasted... today slack too much, tml going sec sch gathering, mon going sentosa suntan... no time no time!!! hahahahaaha...

quite excited bout tml and mon... heng my medication will end tml morning... ar bo a lot of things cannot eat...

okay... think some of u blur le... lemme update u for a while...

i fell sick on mon... only slight sore throat on tat day la... then on wed it worsen until i can't swallow anything... in the end, thurs morning woke up to a swollen neck and chin... cos of sore throat and the swelling of my mouth floor... end up toking like i got serious short tongue prob...

so bo bian took off on tat day... went to see my doc... hahahaha... his medicine really work wonder... thou he not too sure wat cos the swelling of my mouth floor... but now, my sore throat is gone, so has all the swellings... hahahahaha... i think cos i've been going to him since young ba... he checked my records tat day... hahahaha... had been going to him since i was 1+ yrs old... i think it's better to see a gp than a specialist doc when u are still a kid... cos most specialist only have med for kids until 12 yr old.... then no point... cos after tat have to change doc and the new doc wun have any reference to ur med history... then might end up prescribing a sensitive med... so i dun think it's gd...

anyway, wannna go watch the cock show le...

ciaoz...

had a super fun day today...

left office at bout 0900 for psa... hahahaha... went to tanjong pagar terminal today... cos the ship docked there... was very leh chey cos still muz go the complex to get a pass before going in... the pass very cute... still need to take pic de... better than air cargo terminal de... if got time, i'll scan it and post it up here for u all to see...

anyway, went circling the place cos we cannot anyhow u-turn... went up the vessel... so bloody high lor... then the steps quite shaky... went to take a look at the bridge... got some intro by the captain and his assistant... surprisingly, his assistant is a rather young man... then something funny happened lor... the assistant was explaining something to us when kevin and kumar said tat while the assistant explained, all the ladies were more interested in looking at him than listening to him... then went to the captain's rm, the captain's dinning area and the kitchen... saw how they lived onboard and how the containers are being loaded and unloaded... super fun...

we also went to the empty container yard... managed to take some pics of the diff containers and even spoilt ones...

after the visit, kevin our manager, treated us to lunch... nice nice cos all spicy de... but poor lp nv get to eat much...

worked as usual after tat... but lp got called into kevin's rm... so stunned sia... tot she got into trouble... but it's all bcos of ignorant ppl frm the accounts dept...

after work went shopping at cwp... cos no one at hm and i nv bring my keys out... waste so much $$ buying junk food... hahahaha... think i really going to grow very fat soon...

back at hm now... wanna go sleep soon... cos working tml...

additional: dun u find tat sometimes listening to a song helps u to relax and even recall some sweet memories? hahaha... just found some really nice songs tat brings back memories... hahahaha... all thx to winson who sits opp me in office... he always tuned in to gold 90fm... hahahaha... so everyday i'm listening to oldies... the song tat u all hear is heaven knows by rick price... it's a song tat i always listen to when i'm in pri 4... hahaha... tat's ages ago le... hearing this song brings me back to the time when me, my er jie and my bro were in his rm, on the aircon and do our hw after sch... such a nice period of time... really love this song... another one is the soundtrack of long vacation... really relaxing... listening to it really felt like u are in the middle of a long vacation...

ok... needa go sleep le...

ciaoz...

yeah!!! hahahaha... i'm so surprised... i actually didn't fail any modules at all!!! wahahahaha...

so bloody happy now... hahahahaha... results are all in my expected range... except for pdwm and tqm of cos...

hahahaha... wanna know my results? (dun wan can dun read de...)

tqm - dist
hrm - b
csb - b
tms - b
pdwm - c
fma - c+

wahahahaha... still so stunned tat i'd even have a dist in my results... at least this time the minimum is a c... not too bad la... considering tat i nv study hard for all exams... so my disappointment is not tat bad... hahahaha... actually there's no disappointment at all la... tok cock only...

gtg... inuyasha starting soon...

ciaoz...

wow... so long nv blog le...

been quite busy these days... really life is filled with work and tuition...

ok... i'm escaping frm reality now... got to check my results... yet i dun wanna do it...

blog finish this entry first... before my results managed to spoil my mood...

these few days quite nice... mon wendy didn't come... so end up emily giving me work... i prefer emily to give me work than shirlin... hehe... cos emily is more friendly...

working is fun when u have a lot of things to do... hahahaha... just like today... whole day do things... then wendy gave me a stack of work to be completed by the end of the day at 1655 when i'm knocking off at 1730... end up doing it super fast... hope got no errors... hahahaha...

anyway, we had a fire drill today... was quite lame la... majiam in pri and sec sch like tat... need to go out of the building and gather at the field beside the building according to the floor we work in... when we are bout to go down, i heard crystal and uncle leong saying something bout getting free gift... according to them, last time when they have fire drill, they were given pen and mineral water after tat... so cute lor... end up this time round, we were given mineral water and a water bottle... hahahaha... so cute de... still got free gift...

excited excited... hahahahaha... tml got company trip to psa, up onboard a misc vessel... and the company invited the four of us to join them... they still say tat we're very lucky cos some staff work there for more than 10 years still nv get the chance to go psa... but we're interns there and get to go with them... hahahahaha...

life is still basically the same... just tat i'm spending more and more days teaching dafinah... nearly everyday now... can't wait for next wed to come... cos it's her last paper on wed... hopefully her parents will give her a break after tat... so tat i get my break also...

anyway, just realised tat ppl near me are all having probs... family probs... death of family members... fights with family members... it's only halfway into the year and so many bad things happened... wat is becoming of this world??

ok... anyway, i've to go check my results le...

fear gripped my heart as the moment i dreaded draws nearer....

escaping reality is definitely not permanent...

sounds chim? tok big only la... hahahahaha... getting crazy le...

next entry will be blogged shortly...

ciaoz...

sianz...

getting super no life... wake up at 0600 daily, travel full 1 hr just to get to work, have lunch at 1300, got off work at 1730, reach hm an hour later... eat dinner... then go for tuition at 1905... tuition ends at 2130... by the time i got hm, it's 2200 le... watch watever i've recorded(usually "good luck") then it's time for bed...

getting more and more tired as time goes by... think i can nv do any 8 hrs job... will get damn tired...

anyway, gtg le... eyes are getting droppy...

ciaoz...

day

okay... i have a confession to make... i'm starting to dislike ppl trying to link me up with others... i.e. spreading untrue rumours... and teasing me bout it... it's slightly getting onto my nerves... pls dun tease me too much le okay? no point toking bout it when nothing is going on... my friendship with ALL my guy frens are purely platonic... dun let ur imaginations run wild and start toking nonsense... i DUN need to be linked to like half the guys in my class now... being in a relationship is currently the last thing on my mind... so pls stop hor... thx ar....

anyway, back to today... today was slacking in the morning... cos wendy got half day off... so she came in late...

know something is wrong cos this morning when we reach, wendy is not there... she's usually the early bird... end up being correct... was reading lp's cocktail book when shirlin came to me and told me tat wendy asked her to give me some work... she added wat she want me to do to wendy's pile of work... since wendy is not there, i started with shirlin's first...

halfway thru work, alvin msged me... hahahaha... so funny... cos he ask if i got a lot of work to do ma... apparently at oocl's transhipment dept, it's more hectic then misc's tanshipment dept... tat is to an intern...

after i finished with the work give, waited for a while before wendy gave me another set of work to do... to update on the containers on vessels... by the time i finished, it's 1730 le... just right time to knock off... before i packed me things, wendy told me a bad news.... tat i have to work on sat as well... sob sob... tot weekend can sleep longer... but now, still have to work... wat a cheap labour...

anyway, slacking at hm after work... cos today no tuition... so happy... 8th lesson coming soon... hahahaha...

anyway, my eyelids are getting heavy le... so i shall stop here...

ciaoz...

well well... days in itp is getting more and more... at least tat's better than nothing to do...

yesterday wendy(a colleague in transhipment) taught me how to use portnet and sealiner... she only show me one example then gave me a stack to do on my own... wat i'm supposed to do was to renominate the vessels for a particular B/L... was quite chim... but managed to grasp it after a few tries...

guess who i met on my way hm yest? i met amelia... and just right at tat station is where lp alights... anyway, went to give dafinah tuition... tuition went quite well... cos she's paying attention...

continued doing the renomination today... until lunchtime... went to the hawker centre opp harbour front... food there is super cheap and nice... until we reach the entrance of the coy then hf realised tat she lost her office access card... so in the end we back tracked and splited up... hf and lp went searching on the way to the HC while me and shi mei search the office...

in the end, we can't find it in the office... while waiting for them to come back, one of the staff came and look for us... she ask if there's a goh somebody with us... then she said tat she found her card at the HC... hf damn heng lor... she lost her MISC access card and just right got picked up by a MISC staff...

after lunch, was asked to update the excel sheets for the diff vessels and voyage... quite tedious cos have to be very careful and the format is quite diff...

beginning to think tat it's hectic working in a shipping line... cos watever u do is strongly against time and little mistakes cld be made... diff cust are also faced by the ppl working there...

did the updating frm 1415 till 1715... then went toilet with lp... hahaha... dilly dally until 1720 since they got nothing else for me to do... went to look for hf and sm when it's time to go... hahaha... nan de i'm the one to do tat cos usually i'm still doing something when they've finished for the day...

think i very dao there... cos the only few ppl i greet in the morning are the uncles sitting beside and in front of me... only cos they greet me first... my only interaction with my supervisor so far is only on the first day... for less than 2 hrs... the rest of the time, i'm sitting quietly at my table doing my work, silience only broken by the kopi auntie asking me wat i wanna drink, the visits to lp, lunchtime, visits to toilet, toking to wendy bout the work she gave me, the visits by hf when she photocopy things. the occasional work frm shirlin, the occasional small talk with the uncle beside me and of cos, after work!! super sianz lor... think i gonna get very bad grades for itp le... die lar...

super tired now... all cos i watch tv until 1200 last night... the super lag of sleep... have to get up at 0615 the latest everyday... i suspect we are the only few tat starts work so early... alvin and jac they all all starts at 0900... worst is tat i have to travel for full one hrs to work everyday, frm the north to south of sg... tat's bout across the country...

hahahaha... kuku liao... desperately need my sleep now...

ciaoz...

phew... the first day at itp finally ended...

hahahaha... was actually quite fun for me la...

reached harbour front mrt station at 0810... surprisingly, lp and hf already reach le...

so went up to the company... we damn lucky la... first day at work then met a misc employee... hahahha... just right we also going up till 11th storey... then she tapped her card for us for both the lift and the door of misc... hahahaha...

was shown into the meeting rm by ms roz... hahahaha... tok cock there while waiting for the boss to come... got our lift and entry passes too...

last person same itp coy as us de is shi mei frm class 11...

was shown the diff supervisors by the boss... then each of us got attached to a diff supervisor and department...

i was attached to the transhipment dept, lp to operations, hf to import and shi mei to export...

had a briefing frm my supervisor while waiting for wendy of transhipment dept to give me some work...

he gave me some materials bout bill of lading to read while waiting... after tat, wendy gave me my first job of the day... to help her check to confirm if the containers are recorded on both portnet system and sealiner, a program tat the coy developed... she also taught me how to use the systems... but i can't use it on my own cos i dun have an account...

work was disrupted halfway... cos the boss wanna bring us to see the big boss...

big boss office so nice... had a very very nice view of the sea... and sentosa too...

after i finished with her things, wendy asked sherlin for work to give me... in the end, sherlin put a big stack of papers for me to check... hahahaha... didn't manage to finish it today... but this is gd... cos it means i got something to do tml...

my dept still quite gd... at least got things to keep me busy... lp slacked the whole day... cos she got no desktop... so cannot contribute... hf and shi mei is more busy than i am... cos they deal with the customers directly and indirectly... then they can only make minimal mistakes... so more stress than me...

overall for today, so tired and drained of energy... but not too bad la... the coy ppl very frendly and the welfare of the staff is very gd... in the morning and mid afternoon there will be a lady pushing a trolley ard asking wat ppl wanna drink... service majiam on planes like tat...

okay la... need to go iron my clothes for tml le... then needa rest le...

ciaoz...

woohoo...

so happy today...

finally managed to get wat i wanted...

a new pair of shoes, new shirts... and a new skirt a few days ago...

hahahaha... quite guilty tat i spent so much...

hahahah... i think most ppl will get a shock if a say the price out... esp for the skirt...

hahaha... well... actually not a lot also la... the 2 shirts frm G2000 cost $59 together, the shoes frm U.R.S. inc costs $49.90 and the skirt frm mango costs $75...

but still... in total spent a LOT!! hahahah... add up is near $200...

but still... so happy cos the shoes is so nice... so are the shirts and skirt...

hehehehe...

well... gtg...

tired shopper...

ciaoz...

just read a email tat lp sent...

found something i dun really agree with...

bcos i love you, tat's why i let go of ur hand and return freedom to you...
bcos i love you, tat's why i will no longer let u feel troubled...
bcos i love you, tat's why i'd rather be sad alone...
bcos i love you, tat's why i'll force myself to leave...

i think tat's the dumbest things to do if bcos of this mentality then u break up with the other party... wat if the other party still loves u? just tat u nv notice... not only will u be hurt... but u will hurt the one who loves u even more deeply...

it hurts to love and not be loved in return... but it hurts more to not let ur feelings be known...

love is really a strange kind of feeling... but i think the most important thing is to let ur feelings be known... who knows tat if u really did, the two of u will become an item? dun live in regret tat u did not tell the other person how u feel...

true tat there's the fear of being rejected... but who knows... maybe the other person also feel the same way as u do...

hahaha... i think the best way to save ur pride and lessen the effect of being rejected is to send a "scout"... hahahaha... just someone who'd help u know how the other party feel bout u ba... to tell the truth, this is a rather useful way... esp if u r trying to find out the feeling of a ger... cos most gers wud tell each other how they feel if asked by someone they're close to...

ok... enough of this stupid issue bout love... hahahaha... getting mental again...

ciaoz...

well well...

my exams are finally over!!!

wahahahaha...

finally more free...

but...

got to give tuition to a p1 ger...

aiyo...

such a headache...

her exams are starting soon and she know nuts about wat she is studying...

how did she do her exams? well... she just put 1,2,3,4,5 for her answers... for MCQ somemore...

pengz~~

argh... got to teach her tml also...

sianz...

think i'll need to find a way to fa xie soon...

and finally notice one thing...

dun be a english teacher, esp if u are to teach lower pri... unless ur eng is super zai and can make them understand...

if i ever becomes a teacher, i'd definitely teach maths or chinese or even science... NEVER AGAIN ENGLISH!!!

ciaoz...

had the weirdest dream last night...

dreamt tat i got married... and to someone impossible to happen in real life...

hahahaha...

dunno y got this kinda dream also...

wasn't thinking bout anything like tat...

hmmm...

dreams are strange...

hahahahaha...

the dream happened on my wedding day... then was having wedding dinner... though was the "main character" there, but i was not sitting with family members... instead was sitting with my frens... hahahaha... receiving their well-wishes with my partner... surprisingly, those in my dream includes frens frm poly dayz, sec sch dayz and even pri sch dayz!! hahahaha...

then the scene suddenly change to a rm with a whole mirror wall... then i was touching up... hahahaha... remembered "scolding" the makeup artist cos she put my blusher until it's very red and uneven...

just then, got woken up by mr ryan lim...

weird dream isn't it...

hahahahaha....

ciaoz...

yes!! wahahahaha....

a success!!

finally got music up on my blog!!!

yeah!!!

hahahahahaha...

anyway, the title of the music u hear now is "The Name of Life"

hahaha... those of u who like to watch Hayao Miyazaki's work, u might find it familiar...

yup!! it's frm the anime movie "Spirited Away"!! hahahahaha...

enjoy~~

ciaoz...

basket... just put a song in for my blog... then the stupid browser dun wanna play it... grrrr.... dunno wth is wrong with it... damn...

argh argh argh!!! nvm... give up... gonna go study le...

will blog after 12 april...

wishing alvin belated bday, jq and hf early bday!!

ciaoz...

was busy with studies for the past few days... hahahaha... first time i so hardworking leh~~

well... shall blog frm tues till today...

tues...
met ty, hf, jac, mabel, lp and ly at 1030 for our csb roleplay... so dumb lor... we studying biz, in the end, we got a manufacturing situation... how we know all the machine parts wor~~ in the end, we prepare for a while, rehearse once and went to fc 1 to have lunch... hahahaha... yup... all the way frm one end of sp to the other end...

saw jianlong at fc 1... then saw a lot of spac2go juniors there also... hahahha... tat's for sure... cos most of them frm cls de...

had lunch then walk all the way back to biz block again... crazy rite? hahahha... but got too much time to spare le... in the end, we were still early for the roleplay... but tat's partly bcos ms tan is late... so the first grp started late also... but i think our grp's meeting roleplay is rather short... cos we finished in 20 min or maybe less than tat...

after the roleplay, hf, lp and me went up to the hrm tutorial rm... just rite the rm somehow nv lock... so went in to enjoy the aircon...

hrm tutorial is fun... after our grp completed the ans, i went to tok with hf they all... tat day so funny... hahahahha... someone brought a powerpuff gers' pencil case to sch... wahahahaha.... i think those in class knows who's tat... shall not name tat person here... the most funny thing is tat most ppl nv notice it... until the lecturer announce it out loud...

after tat, since she dun wanna go thru the answers yet, some of the begin to play pepsi cola at the back of the rm... hahahaha... damn funny... she still give them time to play...

after tat, time to present the ans... the first grp went up full force... then my grp also say wanna go up full force... but they very bad lor... in the end, only me and jl went up... then kana said by the lecturer and the whole class...

after tat was pdwm lecture... super short lect... cos after he go thru the syllabus and we know which is not tested, we made him stop... since the topic he's going to teach is not in the exam... hahahaha... got back our pdwm ca2 results... hahahaha... all i can say is tat i have to put in extra effort for this module...

reach hm played with ryan for a while before i take my nap... hahaha... after dinner, started doing my fma tutorial... finally figure out 1 of the question tat i cannot do last week... feel so gd to get the things rite... hahahaha...

wed...
was late for fma lect... spent most of the time copying the ans to the past year paper while toking to hf...

went to have lunch at pizza hut since hrm was released an hour earlier... hahaha... rare to have a class outing... called antony... but he not in his rm... after tat, he called us... but no one picked up the phone... hahahaha... ta bao 2 slices of pizza for him... hahahaha... cos we cannot finish it...

saw krishnan on the way back to sb... if he nv met us, he'd have forgotten bout the tutorial...

the tutorial was super short... cos he only go thru 2 questions...

since time was still early before the talks start, me and hf went to spac2go clubrm to chit chat... hahahaha... toked alot of things la... nan de tok to her like tat...

went for the talk... there's 2 tok tat day... one on bachelor of social work... the other on being SIA cabin crew... escaped off earlier to go hm with hf since we got tqm test the next day... in the end, nv manage to go hm much earlier cos raining cats and dogs in wdl... shopped ard in cwp... looked for formal biz wear since i have to wear it daily for itp... but like nothing like tat leh...

studied for my tqm test... all the way until i fell asleep at 0100...

thurs...
was late for csb minutes test... one of the last few to arrive in class.... the test so dumb... tok a lot of irrelevant things... then not clear de... such a lousy quality... tsk tsk... in the end, had to ask ard to confirm the details...

went late for tqm tutorial since it's the other class tat's presenting... hahahaha... had an early lunch before going in... he cut short the last grp's presentation... then gave a few tips before releasing us...

went to t2241 for free access... actually is just book a com to enjoy the aircon while waiting for next lesson to start...

antony's class was again super relaxed... hahahaa... today's the best man... he came in then tok cock with us... hf kept asking bout his love story... bout him and his wife... how they met etc... hahahahaha... majiam gou zai dui like tat... hahahahaha....

tested alvin on tqm... he really can remember almost everything... thru testing him, i also managed to remember more things... hahahahaha...

tqm test was rather easy... actually is very easy cos when we see the question paper, then we started asking each other le... hahahaha... was stucked at one question... heng rohaidah asked miszah tat question during the test then i managed to overhear it...

after the test, went out with my class ppl... hahahaha... got 2 sides jio me...hf jio me go cwp shopping for formal wear, then the guys jio me go watch movie... in the end, went jp to watch spongebob squarepants the movie with mabel and jac... hahahaha... it's a bloody lame and cock show la... laugh all the way man... the guys actually wanna go watch the eye 10 de... but front row left... so they nv watch...

after the movie, went long john to have dinner... chit chat until 10 plus then left there... was at the mrt station when jq called... then waited for them... hahahaha.... can't imagine 4 guys eating and chit chatting all the way frm 7 pm till 10 plus pm... didn't know guys so chang qi one... hehehehehe....

ok la... tat's all for now... nothing much left le....

ciaoz...

yeah~~ finally got my hair cut... hahahaha... almost 6 mths nv cut my hair le... hahahaha...

anyway, finally saw ryan today... he still as naughty as before... but his temper har... tsk tsk... getting frm bad to worse le... but i just love to bully him... hahahahaha... but he also got bully me... he disrupt my sleep...

when i'm napping just now, he came up on my bed and started playing with my hair... hahaha... he so cute... he took off my rubber band and say he wanna help me style my hair...

anyway, dunno wat else to say le... now on the sleeping mode le...

gtg sleep liao... tml still got csb meeting roleplay...

ciaoz...

hmmm.... too tired for the past few days to blog... reach hm at bout 2 am everyday... then super tired le considering tat i had to look after, chase after 4 young kids, the oldest being 6 yrs old...

so many things i had to do... on tues, i had to go to sch... at first plan to pon pdwm lect de... cos too tired to go... but in the end still went for it... after sch, went to cwp to buy slippers before going my grandma hse... cos my slippers is bright green in colour... then not suitable for the funeral...

went up my grandma hse to change... waited like an idiot for the toilet... in the end, i realised tat there's no one in there... my grandma closed the door to prevent my young cousins frm going in, in case they slipped... so stupid of me rite? i didn't even go and open the door... hahahaha... while waiting, my da jie came... so in the end, i went down with her...

my bro and my cousins stayed over on tues nite... i wanted to also... but then my mum dun allow... so bo bian went hm... took my uncle's lorry hm...

when at hm, i started playing maple story... cos my cousin ask me to go online to play with him... so tat i kill and he leech my exp... end up he nv come online... but my bro did...

wed...
the third day of the wake... got prayers on tat day... then if i go to sch, it'd be too late for it... so pon the whole day... went at 11am... walk to my grandma hse with my da jie... she also pon sch tat day...

play poker with my cousins... they so funny.. play tai ti the punishment is to drink a cup of water... nv join them la... just watch only...

was the "childcare" for quite a while... have to kept going after the kids...

prayer session started at 7pm... was quite tiring cos need to stand and kneel, stand and kneel... then with the kids is even worse...

all the offerings were to be burnt tat nite... then while they are preparing, i had to hold the four little kids back... cos the adults scared they might go near the fire... and i was the one to hold them back... until a distant relative call me to go and give offerings to my grandpa... then i moved the kids to the maid before going off...

had to hold hands to form a circle while the fire burns... then have to tell my grandpa wat's the unit no of his new hse... according to the priest... but me and my cousins dunno wat he saying.... and dunno wat's the no... so left it to the adults...

helped clearing up tat nite... also helped to keep the tables after the whole thing ended... while pushing the table top to a corner, it hit my leg... hahaha... clumsy rite? got swollen on the spot... found a big blue black tat nite...

was nervous bout the tqm presentation tat nite... cos the next day presentation and i haven't look thru a single thing... almost everyone stayed over tat nite... except for me... sob sob... if not for the presentation, i would've stayed le...

thurs...
last day of wake, also the day to send my grandpa to the crementorium... had to go sch for presentation... at first dun wanna go too early de... cos my mum told me the prayers start at 11 am, the time of tqm lesson...

anyway, requested to leave early tat day... and tat lecturer so chin chai de lor... so rite after i presented, i went off le... came hm to put all my stuff before going my grandpa's wake... when i reach there, they still praying... then can't squeeze in also... cos dun have joss sticks and incense paper... so after i changed, i join my cousin, jie sheng, whose leg is in case, so he cannot join them... stood there with him... then when i got a chance, i squeezed into the procession after my cousin...

managed to look at my grandpa one last time before they sealed the coffin completely... my aunts cried at tat point in time... was really sad at tat time... cos i will nv get to see him ever again... finally dropped my tears... and after tat, was crying all the way when we're supposed to sit by his coffin while the priest prays... the scene was really bad... cos everyone's crying, esp all the females... had a short rest while waiting to send my grandpa on a last journey... asked my dad to help me put my slippers on the bus...

anyway, just to mention for easy reference, the 4 youngest cousins of mine are jolene, kelvin, ivan and gary...

carried ivan while walking for th last journey... the ground is too hot for the kids to walk... mind u, it's 2 in the afternoon with a blazing sun... so have to carry him... jolene was carried by her uncle. kelvin was carried by my another cousin and poor gary... he had to walk... cos my cousin, wei hao, had carried his bro, kelvin, for the prayers just before going off... in the end, i still made wei hao carry gary... cos its really hot...

on the way, ivan kept toking to me... he was saying tat he saw the maid throwing my grandpa's bed away, tat we are going to burn my grandpa le... tat we had to walk on the hot floor... tat we're not going to see my grandpa again le... smart rite? and guess how old is he? he's just 4 yrs old lor...

halfway, wei hao put gary down again... then my er jie took over carrying him, while my bro offered to carry ivan for me.... when we were near a zebra crossing, my er jie told my da jie to carry gary after tat... in the end, when my da jie carry him, it's time we board the bus...

on the way there, gary is super quiet... ivan was toking non-stop as usual... jolene was with her dad and kelvin was with tat same cousin who carried him... gary only toked when he saw the zoo road sign... cos my grandpa was to be cremented at mandai crementorium...

the environment there is very nice.... really... it's very new i think... it looks new anyway... the sadest part is when my grandpa is sent to be cremented... the priest told all of us to shout to my grandpa's spirit to be careful of the fire... in the end, we dun even know wat's going on until much later... cos our generation hokkien not gd... then no one translate for us... but it's really saddening cos everyone including those distant relatives broke down into tears... even my mum.... then my da yi and san yi is the worse... they cry until my mum have to support my da yi and my san yi zhang have to support my san yi...

when we left the viewing rm, my xiao yi was sobbing in her husband's arms... i see already also very sad...

after tat, we have to unpin the "xiao"... it's different cloth pin onto the t-shirt to show ur relationship with the decease... then took off the socks to wear our shoes to go back hm... here comes the pai sei part... as earlier, i ask my dad to put my slipper on the bus... in the end, my dad dunno pass to who... end up my slippers was lost and i had to go back bare-footed... then my sis they all very bad... still make me walk to get them drinks when they had their shoes on lor... then the floor is so badly littered with peanut shells... sharp one lor...

luckily for me, my dad found my slippers in the end... dunno frm who also... after lunch, went up to my grandma hse... super tired by then... but cannot go hm yet... cos need to settle all the stuff... then having dinner there also...

finally went hm at 6 plus... then took my uncle's lorry hm again... after showering and the last episode of 1/2 yuan fen, i went to sleep le... super duper tired...

fri...
went to sch as usual... think i left sch too early for this one whole week... hf they all so funny... ask me today no need to leave early ar? hahaha... actually wanna go collect my grandpa's ashes with my mum de... but dun wanna be late for lecture... so in the end nv go...

went to spac2go clubrm to put my photo for ndp... dunno if the photo can ma... cos was taken when i'm in sec 3... but bo bian la... no time this week to go take photo...

skipped my lunch cos dun feel like eating after i went back to sb frm saa... fma was next... luckily, i did my fma tutorial last week le... so this wk no need to do...

had my usual picnic during tms lecture... hahahaha... got western food in... so nice... hahahahaha... wun get caught cos jq sitting in front of me... and block me frm ms ok's view.. hahahaha... the advantage of sitting at the last row...

after the 1st hr of lect, we got a break... then i got yogurt drink and an apple in... hahahaha... eat something oily le have to get fruits to clear my intestine... hahahaha... tok cock...

anyway, did nothing constructive frm fri nite till now... play solitaire all the time... ar bo is watch tv... sianz~~

anyway, the only gd news is tat i got my itp attachment le... it's at 78 shenton way, which is so much closer to tanjong pagar mrt than raffles place... the pay is 440 bucks and i'm in the same coy as lp and hf... got gd and got bad la...

gtg... need to have my beauty sleep le... super tired since i broke my record... got up at 8am this morning... tired tired tired...

ciaoz...

first day of the funeral... not alot of ppl there today... only my uncles and aunties and cousins there... alot of customs to follow...

not feeling too sad today... only nearly cry 3 times today... 1st was when i told ty bout this on the train this morning... 2nd was when i told hf and the 3rd time was when i'm chatting with my er jie on the way frm je to wdl...

was supposed to go over right after sch de... but they doing tqm presentation... so stayed behind to do with them... msged er jie to see if she wanna meet then she called back saying she's at boon lay le... then meeting me at je... so i passed my work to lp they all and left...

the funeral is not under my grandma hse tat block... but was at the next block... cos her block got too little space on the ground floor to carry out the funeral...

was made to changed into a white t-shirt provided by the casket... then when me and my er jie went down, had to pin a piece of cloth on the left sleeve... have to pray to my grandpa first then started to help them fold the incense paper into ingots... helped to burn incense paper also... have to keep it burning... think it represents smooth journey to the underworld ba... not too sure also... then cannot ask on the spot...

first time saw my grandma since sat... she looks ok la... but got teary eyes when the distant relatives ask about my grandpa... the only ppl who cried until very jialat is my grandpa's siblings...

had to look after my cousins also... so many young kids there... then one of them kept clinging onto me... kept asking me to carry him... bring them to the playground he only wan me to carry him and dun wanna play... end up my hands until now still trembling...

super tired le... dunno wat i toking le... think i need sleep badly... tml still muz go and help...

ciaoz...

decided to open up this blog for all to see...

okok... new ppl seeing my blog, i have to repeat the same thing...

discuss my blog can... but pls dun say out the contents in front of me... i seriously dun like it...

those whose blog i linked, if u dun want me to link ur blog to mine, just tell me... drop a msg in the tagboard to say so...

if u wanna link my blog in ur's, feel free to do so... i dun mind de...

tat's bout all...

ciaoz...

stunned... just so stunned... suddenly just lost my grandpa... well tat's according to my cousin... hopefully it's not true... now still waiting for my mum to come hm frm the hospital...

my grandpa was not feeling too well since a few years ago... i know tat... but i dunno wat is he down with...

on sat, heard frm my mum tat he was hospitalised again... but this time, the condition was not too gd... tat day only heard my mum saying tat the doc told my aunt tat if we wanna visit him muz faster visit le... so accompanied my mum to the hospital with my da jie...

ok... anyway my mum just called... it's bad news... my cousin is correct... my grandpa just passed away at 10.20 pm...

suddenly got tears in my eyes... gosh... cannot be so emotional now... have to be strong for my mum... just wat's wrong with me... i tot i wun cry... cos not too close to my grandpa... but...

ok... let me just continue frm sat... went to the hospital with my mum, my da jie and my san yi (my mum's third sis)... think my san yi can't really stand it le... cos she went out of the ward so many times... then her eyes looks teary... after tat, my qi jiu (my mum's 7th bro) and my er jiu (my mum's second bro) came up frm the foodcourt... after tat, my da jiu mu (my mum's eldest bro's wife) came with 2 of her kids, my xiao yi's family (my mum's youngest sis) and my liu jiu's (my mum's sixth bro) family came together... next to cry was my da jie... she just broke down in the arms of her bf... seeing her cry, i think a lot of them also on the verge of crying le... usually when i see ppl cry, i'll break down too... but this time, i held back my tears... if i also cry, then they might all break down... and my mentality tat time was to be strong for my mum and thx god tat he's still alive... i shouldn't cry at tat point in time cos he's still not gone yet... but it's really heart wrenching to see him in pain... he was hooked up on machines and when we visited him tat day, he barely opened his eyes to see us... when my aunts they all called out to him, he also barely responded...

there's a life and death situation in his ward yesterday... the one on his right side died yesterday... at 5.20pm... cos my mum they all overheard... the patient's family was crying so badly... she was saying something like " you are a gd man... move on in peace and find a gd family to reincarnate" ... i was so sad then... but tat's life... one has to go thru birth, aging sickness and death...

msged my er jie when we're bout to go hm... cos she coming hm on sat... in the end, she wanted to come visit my grandpa also... so we waited for her...

went hm on a cab... tat nite, my mum told us tat my grandpa's condition is really bad... he might just past away in these few days... he was dignosed with cancer a few years ago... it was just small then... but being stuborn, he refused any form of treatment... during the third day of lunar new year this year, when he went back for checkup, the doc say it's best if he undergo chemo... thou it wun heal him... but at least can prolong his life... but he just doesn't wanna go thru it...

yesterday his condition still not tat bad... although in pain, he could still sleep in the position tat he always do... but today when we go and visit him in the evening, he could barely move into tat position... in fact, he could barely move and barely moved...

argh... why does my da jie have to be sniffing away in the background and bring back the tears in my eyes??

can see tat his condition had sort of worsen today... even my bro who my went yesterday can tell... just reached hm not too long ago... then at 10 plus, my xiao yi called my mum to ask her to get ready... cos the doc called them to say tat things dun look gd and he's in a critical condition le... then they all going to rush to the hospital and will fetch her there also... wanted to go with my mum... to at least try to give her some support... but i dunno if it's bad news will i be ready to handle it... who knows it might be my mum giving me support... and with one less person, my mum will be able to cope with comforting my grandma, my aunts and my uncles...

frm these 2 days, i really admire my mum... she can be so strong for her family... tat day, a lot of them already got teary eyes le... but only my mum is the exception... and when she called just now, i expect her to be unable to speak... but her voice is still the same as always and doesn't sound shaky... ask me to pick up the phone or to tok to someone, i dun think i'll be able to tok for long before i break down...

ok... better dun say much now...

ciaoz...

nothing much these few days... just tat i've officially retired!!! hahahaha... actually is stepped down frm my financial secretary duty in spac2go... and guess wat? the one who took over me is none other than hf... hahahaha... easy job la... think it's easier for her to come find me if she got any prob with the job... but dun think she'd have la... her a/c tok kong one... so no worries...

had tms ca on fri... so on thurs, the pdwm tutorial was super pathetic... only 10 turned up... and all females... hahahaha... like hf they all say, our class basically turned into a ger's sch le... all the guys in my class pon lesson... so rare lor... esp so for jq...

was doing hrm project on fri... finally finished it... and it's printed le... hehehe... now only need to reherse for the roleplay le...

spent the whole of my sat slacking at hm... was actually supposed to be filled with events... but all got cancelled on fri nite... sadz rite... hahahaha... sometimes feel tat i have no life de... everyday slack at hm... no one jio me out...

sun was no diff... spend the whole of today reading jane green's book... and i finished it... didn't take long la.. considering tat tv was my top piority...

hmmm.... just wonder if i'd ever meet someone how knows me inside out...

ciaoz...

okok... try to keep it as short as possible.....

sat went to do hrm project at 8 am... crazy rite? do project at 8 am at yew tee... after tat went back to sch to do tqm project at 1130... meeting time was 1130... but hrm ended too early... so went shopping at NTUC at bukit batok... end up i'm late... but lp and mabel even later than me... so me and jac start first... sp cheat ppl money de... pay so much sch fees in the end so many plugs cannot use... have to go fc 5 to do project... project all the way until 4 plus... then went hm le... my sis they all were making dumplings when i reach hm... so joined them in making...

sun nothing much... went to my grandma hse to play with ryan... he so cute... got bright yellow slippers...

mon was spent rushing project again... after tms, alvin their grp was saying tat they restrict themselves to eat lunch for 20 min... then mabel so funny... she say to them tat our grp will beat them by using only 10 min to eat... so we da bao frm fc 6 and went to efac le... hahahaha.... lp ate at efac cos she have to take care of our belongings... then the rest of us went to eat at the nearby stairs... like cleaners like tat... hahahaha... but feel so bad for leaving lp alone at efac... so ate as fast as possible... then we went back to start our project le... was indeed so much faster than their grp... stayed in sch until 11... reach hm then drop dead on bed le...

tues met lp at 1000 at bukit batok... cos needa go her workplace take pics for tqm... end up both of us also late... took a few pics... then went to the mac there to eat breakfast... finally got to use m vouchers le... got 5 buck left... then only paid 30 cents for the meal... shared with lp... then went to sch le... stopped at convention there... cos needa pass $$ to alex for the agm and peer counselling... saw jianlong on bus duty also... hahaha... shuai ge leh... he so friendly tat no matter whenever he saw me he also wave and smile at me... hahahaha... fa hua chi le... help frankie and zhenglong then went off at 12... cos doing hrm at tat time... end up i was the earliest... followed by ty, pl and rohaida...was toking bout supernatural things there... then end up alot of things happened... pl was telling us her incident in sb... then in the end, we took the same lift... when we went in, the cleaner was telling us tat the lif broke down just before... so hopefully it doesn't breakdown again... pl was so freaked out lor... luckily nothing happened la.. reach 6th floor then pl wan to fill water... end up me and ty walk slower... but nv stop to wait for her cos gurdip's there also... then she so funny... ask gurdip to wait for her cos she scared to be alone... hahaha.. actually there's more tat happened than wat i can say here... ask me personally for details if u wanna know... hrm project is roughly finishing... after sch continued with tqm... and finally, we finished it by 11 pm!!! so happy... even cover page also finish and everything is printed le... only left the pics to sort out then can hand in the project le!! think our's the fastest grp in the whole class ba...

wed... actually got duty in morning de... but in the end, changed to afternoon shift with huixian... went to do a bit of the appendix before going for duty... was late due partly to the rain... have to walk a longer route... did duty with eugene... a bit strange... cos nothing much to tok about... then he kept slacking on the job... hahahaha... i was there standing while he sat down... today's shift not bad la... got another shuai ge doing duty... he's not exactly too shuai la... but his features not bad looking... just tat complexion not too gd... and his name is alvin... hahahhaa... actually i think guys call alvin de all quite gd looking la... anyway, tat's for all the alvins i've met... hahahaha... finally got the photos taken on tues... not bad... bringing it to sch tml...

ok la.... gtg shower and sleep le...

ciaoz...